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Jesus Christ

The name GOD gave to his word when he came to the world.
Jesus Christ is the way, truth and life.
by Chijioke Victor March 3, 2023
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jesus fucking christ

when ur actually severely injured and.......
Rob: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MY FUCKING ARM IS FUCKING CUT OPEN LIKE A PUSSY GOD HELP THE FUCKING PAIN FGFHTDGHFHGDHDFSGRSGHFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKK *inhales* AHAGAGAHGAGAHYHAHAAAAGAGAGGGAGAAAAAAÀÆAAAAAA *lungs start to collapse* HAGHAGHAGAHHGAGAGEEEAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYUUUUUU AUGEGHGHGHGHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *right lung is collapsed* LORD PLEASE SEND ME TO HEAVEN BEFORE I DIE I'M SORRY FOR BEING HORNY, WATCHING HENTAI, AND JERKING OFF, AGAHAGAFGFFGAAAAAAAAAA *fucking dies*
by XxXdickblue1XxX November 16, 2021
mugGet the jesus fucking christmug.

JESUS CHRIST

MY HUSBAND JACOB RENE REYNA IN LUBBOCK TEXAS ACTUAL HELL ON EARTH...
JACOB RENE REYNA AKA JESUS CHRIST USES HIS PHONE TO CONTROL THE PEOPLE IN ACTUAL HELL CITY... WHILE THEY THINK THEY HAVE ME FUCK IN THE SHADOWS...
by Jacob and Matthew Reyna July 24, 2023
mugGet the JESUS CHRISTmug.

Resurrection of Christ

A spiritual sexual act, used to assert dominance on the Mormons. To complete the holy act, you will need a flash light, and a crucifix. Once you have convinced the dirty Mormon girl to bless you with her precious womb, you will position her into the “doggy” position. (You must ensure the room is completely dark) as you proceed to pound away, you sneak out the flash light and crucifix. With Cheetah like speed you turn on the flashlight and jam it into her anal cavity, to where the light is shining into your face, and proceed to raise the cross above your head, announcing that Jesus has been resurrected.
“As the light of holiness touched my face, and the cross was above my head, she coward in fear. For Jesus had been rebirth’Ed in her womb. The “Resurrection of Christ.”
by Daddydamon94 January 20, 2021
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Couch Christ

People who say what should have been done before a natural disaster, but after the disaster has already occurred. People who criticize rescue and recovery efforts or say what should be done while sitting on their sofa or couch at home watching it on Tv. Inaction to help, but continue to critique and criticize. - SEE SOFA SAVIOR - people who are going to save the world from their sofa or couch.
While watching Maui rescue on TV, my father turned into a real Couch Christ saying what rescuers should be doing differently. Yet, he has no experience in rescue operations.
by Captain LRC July 12, 2025
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Christing

An act whereby a man ejaculates on the feet of 12 people.
After hearing a noise in the billiards room, I look through the open door and saw Sebastian christing on the players and manager of the Upton Snodsbury football team. Thankfully, they had put towels on the ground.
by TheLastTreeOnTheLeft August 15, 2022
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Jesus Christ

Lord Jesus christ son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner.”
by Mr Lean June 7, 2024
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