Beard Bulking

When you let your beard grow wild af before you go and get a rigorous trim, sculpt, and product beard massage.

Me: Wow Tyler, you’re beard is looking pretty unruly.

Tyler: I’m beard bulking to look fly for the ladies this summer.

by Jaydawn April 27, 2022

Beard packing

The act of carefully packing ones excessively long facial hair into ones anus.

I did not eat that strippers ass. What you were smelling is just some light beard packing.

by Rellov January 17, 2017

provider beard

Facial hair worn by pussified, emasculated cucks who have sacrificed their testicles, wallets and pride to domineering female spouses or significant others in exchange for sex and social acceptance.

Similar in look to the ever popular dad beard, men who sport a provider beard often have one or more of the following traits: a side-parted preppy hairstyle, SJW approved eyeglasses (for the visually impaired) J. Crew polo shirts, Nantucket shorts, Sperry Top-Siders and an aura of feigned happiness.

Hey, who is the bearded guy driving the soccer mom SUV? Oh, that’s just your cousin. His provider beard is all that remains of his manhood after his wife made him have a vasectomy.

by DJtadd May 21, 2021

Retirement Beard

A bead grown soon after retirement

I'm quitting my job and growing a retirement beard just like David Letterman.

by Stylecouncler September 17, 2018

Fructose Beard

A fleshy, saggy, pouch-like formation under the chin caused by overconsumption of highly processed, fructose-laden snack foods. A fructose beard obscures the natural jawline and renders the victim's face shapeless and lacking in definition.

Honey Boo-Boo's mom is sporting a serious fructose beard.

by barfstormman1 August 30, 2013

queer beard

Someone who you coauthor with who has a marginalized gender identity or sexual orientation (e.g. LGBT2Q+), in order to credibly discuss issues of gender as a cishet person. Could equally apply to people of marginalized racial identities (see race beard).

That guy only writes with so-and-so so he can talk about queer topics without being attacked, and get into those progressive journals! I would go as far to say he's using them as a queer beard...

by secretuser420 April 7, 2020

Frothy Beard

When a man with with a medium to long beard blows a load in your ass and proceeds to felch (eat his cum out of your ass) and gets the residue all over his beard.

“After we leave this micro brewery I’d love to get a frothy beard”

“Chief gave me the best frothy beard last night”

by H4rd C4ndyy April 27, 2019