Skip to main content

don't touch what you can't afford 

What was once the ultimate put down. The strongest diss you could say to somebody who was annoying you by being physical with something you own.

Starting off with expensive things that other poor kids couldn't afford, this was a snobbish insult used by richer kids who had the flashest new gear and one of the poorer kids wanted to touch it as they could never afford somethign so extravagent. This was in fear of the poorer kids leaving germs or nits on the item leaving the richer kid fucked later on. This would put them in their place and the poor kids would know their place in society.

However, things started to get a bit out of hand circa 1997. The diss spread wildly across Britain's schools and soonn became used in day to day conversations heard in the playground; the cheaper the tackier the item the better the insult. It was a witty way of saaying "you're so poor that..." but without having to use the brainpower to think of an item and and it would leave people hurt inside.

Soon enough people found a way of responding to this comment which was to get your wallet out and show you have enough money to indeed afford the item, thus making the person who used it look silly and make their point completely void. Soon after this was discovered people stopped using it, and thus sending a classic diss to the history books along with "your mum gives head for bread" and other such insults.
Person 1 "Hey, Let me have a look at that pen."
Person 2 "Oi, don't touch what you can't afford!"
Person 1 "Damn...you didn't have to go there."
don't touch what you can't afford mug front
Get the don't touch what you can't afford mug.
See more merch

boob touch 

When you touch a female's boob(s).
Bob: How'd it go last night?
Bill: I got in a boob touch!
boob touch by Daleks August 16, 2011

The Bad Touch 

A song made by the band, The Bloodhound Gang. All their songs have some hilarity and usually sexual connotations.
The Bad Touch--
"You and me are nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel... Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is the Texas bet, can you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about, so put your hands down my pants"-- long excerpt
The Bad Touch by Bweeks March 30, 2009

knuckle touch 

The act of two/three people touching knuckles in celebration of something. While the knuckle touch is similar to the pound it is more gentle.
Bud and Justin knuckle touch after the sweet madden play.
knuckle touch by BudmanOfAlcatraz August 30, 2007

Midas Touch 

The accidental tipping of a finger with poo when wiping ones anus after dumping.
My finger went through the bog-roll and I got the Midas Touch.
Midas Touch by Ginger Ted February 28, 2004

knee touch

The knee touch is a go-to move used by some overconfident men, in which they talk to a female while making eye contact and subtly place their hand on the female's knee. This "move" is normally put into place by people that think they are so good looking no one will mind the awkward physical contact and that it is actually an appreciated move which leads to later "getting some".
Mike pulled out the knee touch, his number one move from his arsenal, but the fat chick didn't respond.
knee touch by Ryan O'Connell December 24, 2008

soul touch 

A new horizon and or level of making love to an individual beyond natural measure, it is so satisfying that it escalates to a spiritual leve.
soul touch by Soul toucher December 29, 2015