Florida Man Colonsseum

Everyone has heard an adult human rectum can stretch to 7 inches without tearing; and that raccoons can fit into holes as small as four inches. The Florida Man, takes advantage of those last few inches of clearance with the addition of an adult brown striped Atlantic octopus. Octopi can fit into anything larger than their beak. So to preform the Florida Man, one must simply trap a dumpster raccoon, catch an adult Atlantic octopus, and then hogtie the raccoon using the Optimus’s tentacles. At that point a fair amount of axle grease should ease the transition into the rectum, potato cannons can also be used for extra Florida points. The two animals will then fight to the death in the recipient’s rectum, without ever tearing the sphincter.

Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.

It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.

Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen come into the ER? We once had a guy come in with a dead raccoon and a live octopus up his ass. Everyone with him apparently had bets going about which animal would be dead when we removed them. They called it the Florida Man Colonsseum

by Jdh1002 April 11, 2023

florida sorbet

that good shit...you don't smoke it, you experience it you feel.

damn, that sweet sweet sobs got me like damn daniel that florida sorbet really hit

by millieisbagel May 28, 2021

Florida Canal Cake

When two homeless men find a Florida canal. First homeless man gets on all fours pointing his butt at the canal, the other straddles him in the same direction and poops down the first homeless man crack. The turd flows down and hits the water. The water is then used to make Walmart cake.

“Dude, if I’m going to your birthday I’m not having that Florida Canal Cake.”

“If I have to eat Florida Canal Cake, I’m going to leave the party”

by 29072201 July 8, 2018

Florida

A derogatory adjective, hinting at an individual's stupidity or lack of sense

"Florida man fights crocodile and wins while masturbating and running away from the police simultaneously."
"Florida man donates 47 kidneys to local non-profit organisation"

by Cat in Quiche September 2, 2021

Florida

A place full of drunk white people doing stupid things

Florida Man arrested for having illegal alligator fights in his basement

by Thebadguygog July 12, 2022

Florida nosing

Taking a life threatening amount of cocaine at one time.

I was at a party once, where I saw Jesus Florida nosing it off a urinal.

by Snuffy77 February 9, 2018

Florida State University

University located in Tallahassee, Florida, full of UF rejects that party like no other. They say pretty girls have no intelligence, so they all go to FSU. Everyone hates FSU except for the students and Halloween partygoers from other parts of the state. FSU students tout that they attend the premier school in the state, but nobody there will admit their SAT was under 1300. People go here not because they wanted to, but because it was the only place they could go. Home of the Seminole, its own STD and mascot.

Madi: So where do you go to school?
James: Oh I go to Florida State University. What about you?

Madi: I'm sorry for your loss! I'm doing pre-med at UF.

James: You're fat and ugly and you can fuck off bitch.

by shroncke November 13, 2022