A sub-variant of Unwarranted Self Importance (USI) widely seen among the Internet-going population. Became common once everybody from your Grandma to your kindergarten teacher realized they could create a blog/Facebook page/YouTube channel where they could inflict their opinions on those unlucky enough to wander by with zero consequences or monetary cost.
In days past, the disease was restricted to ranting street preachers, and was limited by factors such as the price of soap-boxes and copy paper, and the generally low levels of give a shit present in the pre-Internet population
Symptoms consist of:
1) assuming that people on the Internet like you and the things you say, when most are actually indifferent at best
2) projecting your narrow interests on to people who don't share them, then confusing their bored silence for approval
3) producing content which focuses mostly on shallow appeals for approval, instead of actually informing, challenging or entertaining
4) cultivating a small clique of like-minded Internet goers, which (despite representing a microscopic fraction of the population as a whole) you then cite as proof that you're "kind of a big deal"
Treatment includes:
1) deleting the offending Facebook/YouTube/blog pages
2) re-connecting with real life friends and family over shared activities
3) rediscovering that nobody on the Internet really cares that much about your life, your cat, or what you had for dinner today (even the people that say they do)
In days past, the disease was restricted to ranting street preachers, and was limited by factors such as the price of soap-boxes and copy paper, and the generally low levels of give a shit present in the pre-Internet population
Symptoms consist of:
1) assuming that people on the Internet like you and the things you say, when most are actually indifferent at best
2) projecting your narrow interests on to people who don't share them, then confusing their bored silence for approval
3) producing content which focuses mostly on shallow appeals for approval, instead of actually informing, challenging or entertaining
4) cultivating a small clique of like-minded Internet goers, which (despite representing a microscopic fraction of the population as a whole) you then cite as proof that you're "kind of a big deal"
Treatment includes:
1) deleting the offending Facebook/YouTube/blog pages
2) re-connecting with real life friends and family over shared activities
3) rediscovering that nobody on the Internet really cares that much about your life, your cat, or what you had for dinner today (even the people that say they do)
Doctor: "Yes, I was afraid of this...it's Blogger's Disease. And a bad case, too. I've seen it a hundred times."
Patient: "My God, is there any cure?"
Doctor: "Yes there is... but I'm afraid you won't like it. It might require you to be less of a douche. It may require you to interact with the physical world. Are you prepared to handle it?
Patient: "Whatever it takes, Doctor."
Doctor: *smashes laptop to pieces with a hammer*
Patient: "My God, is there any cure?"
Doctor: "Yes there is... but I'm afraid you won't like it. It might require you to be less of a douche. It may require you to interact with the physical world. Are you prepared to handle it?
Patient: "Whatever it takes, Doctor."
Doctor: *smashes laptop to pieces with a hammer*
by Baroque T. Frankenheimer January 21, 2014
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Altoids Disease is the cause of sudden lapses in higher brain function causing moments of mild to severe, both physically and mentally, retarded actions. This disease was first noted in 2002 during a mild bout of hypochondria, when it was suggested that the only thing wrong was the person was they were suffering from extreme stupidity,, thus Altoids disease was born.
When you do something very dumb for no apparent reason you are suffering the effects of Altoids Disease. This can be something as simple as tripping over your own feet,, to doing anything cause it seemed to be a good idea at the time.
by Mr. Stinky Pants July 11, 2009
Get the Altoids Disease mug.An ailment where there are too many of one thing in an assortment of different things.
First defined by programmers at Maxis when creating Sim City 3000, where a certain building (usually a Lick's Ice Cream Shop) would appear in large nmbers on the map.
First defined by programmers at Maxis when creating Sim City 3000, where a certain building (usually a Lick's Ice Cream Shop) would appear in large nmbers on the map.
by Prussel June 10, 2004
Get the Lick's disease mug.A slang word used in the UK, mainly to define the random'ness and craziness of another human being or group of friends.
by The Spoonmyster December 2, 2010
Get the Ellington Crackpot Disease mug.by SammyBoy July 11, 2003
Get the dunlap disease mug.Originally a song title by the punk band NoFX, Bleeding Heart Disease pokes fun at people who are "Bleeding Hearts" and "Heart Disease" (a real disease). Someone who has Bleeding Heart Disease often suffers from chronic and naive sympathy for anyone and everything, especially around politically sensitive issues. The sympathetic emotions are often unjustified and directed to people or causes that do not in fact deserve sympathy.
It's important to note that to be diagnosed with Bleeding Heart Disease, a person must chronically feel unjustifiably sorry for people on unrelated topics. It's also important that the topic of sympathy be unjustified or highly debatable.
Bleeding Heart Disease is becoming especially common in the Western World.
It's important to note that to be diagnosed with Bleeding Heart Disease, a person must chronically feel unjustifiably sorry for people on unrelated topics. It's also important that the topic of sympathy be unjustified or highly debatable.
Bleeding Heart Disease is becoming especially common in the Western World.
Statement: "That's so sad that guy died when he got his Darwin award."
Reply: "I think you have Bleeding Heart Disease."
Reply: "I think you have Bleeding Heart Disease."
by Brad Bender January 8, 2009
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