Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."

Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨

by Hym Iam August 9, 2023

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Jesus Christ

Lord.

Jesus Christ is lord

by big_nae_nae August 11, 2023

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Christ Barnes

A scaudly person who has a fetish for dirty crusty hair and skin. Is very good at their job. Has a favourite colleague but won't tell them. Can often look like they want to kill someone on the daily. Fiesty like a jalapeno pizza

That one is an absolute Christ Barnes

by anonymous November 30, 2021

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Christ the King

Located in the ye-haw state. After 2020 it became hell. Everyone hates it here and wants to leave bad enough to go to the shit-show Bishop McGuinness that’s invested in druggies and rapists. Oh and don’t forget the favorite lucy-goosy. The tattle tale and snitch of the school. Oh i’m sorry i forgot, the theology teacher banned the word snitch, probably because lucy- goosy cried about it. And don’t forget the awesome teachers that only care about skirt length cause it’s “distracting” when in reality the real distraction is being pulled out of class cause their skirt is to short. Like yes Ms KLB, the guys are going to rape us in a middle school classroom. Those assholes wouldn’t have the nerve and are probably so fucking dumb they couldn’t figure out how! And let’s not ignore the bold-ass sixth graders every year. Those annoying sixies have some nerve. When we were in 6th grade we would’ve literally been put in a trash can for doing what these shitheads do.

Christ the King is a living hell.

by ctk_lover December 2, 2021

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