Spank the Monkey

A well known phrase, usually exclaimed in commentary when Clydebank FC's Nicky Little scores a goal

That is absolutely SPANK THE MONKEY from Nicky Little. That is disgusting!

by Doricbankie96 July 31, 2021

Mississippi Earth Monkey

Definition: When two crackheads fuck in the mud getting covered in it

I saw two Mississippi Earth Monkeys fucking behind the 7/11.

by Moosemilk01 August 14, 2021

Buying a monkey

A situation in which someone who has recently come into a very large sum of money goes and buys weird, unusual, or taboo things, simply because they can. The phrase itself is derived from Michael Jackson, who bought a pet chimpanzee named Bubbles in the 80's following the success of his album Thriller.

Person 1: I've just fucking won 20 million in the lottery

Person 2: Man, that's a lot of money, what are you going to buy?

Person 1: I'm buying a monkey.

by rollacethejazzmaster September 5, 2021

The Great Monkey Incident

On May 24, 2012, a group of 3 teenagers went to the San Diego Zoo at 3:13 pm. The 3 young boys went to see the monkey exhibit and dared each other to do something extravagant than neither of them would do. 2 of the boys names Marcus and Dillan threw bits of hot dog bread at the monkeys, encouraging harassment of the apes. the final teenager named Carter, bought laxatives from the CVS Pharmacy before entering the Zoo for his mother. Carter thought it was a good idea to throw the laxatives at the monkeys because it would out-do Dillan and Marcus's idea. The monkey consuming the Laxatives in about 20 minutes had major diarrhea and the Zookeepers had to inform everybody to leave the exhibit. Before the residents could leave, the war began. The apes threw their fecal matter at the residents and brought chocolate rain amongst the people. The Zookeepers soon found out who caused this and banned the 3 boys involved in the mess. The reason most don't know about this is because it wasn't as important as say, somebody jumping into an exhibit, so it's all swept under the rug.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk (do not fact check this)

Guy: Hey bro, somebody just talked about The Great Monkey Incident on TikTok!
Bro: The Great Monkey Incident? what the hell is that?
Guy: well basically..........

by Yung motha'fuckin Jimminy Neut September 18, 2021

Green apple monkey

When your gamer tag is MinMa5ter233

She fucked green apple monkey

by Dark blue banana fucker September 29, 2021

The Blind Monkey

if yo momma ask you “hand me that remote right there” & you mumble “you better ask the blind monkey” that “ask the blind monkey” shit replaces the look you give her when she saying bullshit before she pop yo ass

“you’re late to class again, i’ll be making a phone call to your mother asking why you’re always late” okay bitch you better ask the blind monkey

by swagmastermf November 22, 2021

Blue headed molestation monkey

to refer to someone as a morally bankrupt, corrupt and sexually exploitative individual under a facade of being morally sound and generous to those who are weaker and in need; used to describe someone who is a member of the UN peacekeepers

I can't Steven became a UN peacekeeper and raped a 13 year old girl in that third world country, fuckin 'blue headed molestation monkey'.

by Fax Dispenser November 30, 2021