beard shmear

The act of eating a girl out and she queefs out vaginal discharge (possibly solidified) and you proceed to dry off her vagina with your beard.

"What's that smell?"

"Last night I beard shmeared this fat bitch and I haven't washed it yet....I can taste it.."

by Fat Susie February 24, 2014

Retirement Beard

A bead grown soon after retirement

I'm quitting my job and growing a retirement beard just like David Letterman.

by Stylecouncler September 17, 2018

Beard packing

The act of carefully packing ones excessively long facial hair into ones anus.

I did not eat that strippers ass. What you were smelling is just some light beard packing.

by Rellov January 17, 2017

provider beard

Facial hair worn by pussified, emasculated cucks who have sacrificed their testicles, wallets and pride to domineering female spouses or significant others in exchange for sex and social acceptance.

Similar in look to the ever popular dad beard, men who sport a provider beard often have one or more of the following traits: a side-parted preppy hairstyle, SJW approved eyeglasses (for the visually impaired) J. Crew polo shirts, Nantucket shorts, Sperry Top-Siders and an aura of feigned happiness.

Hey, who is the bearded guy driving the soccer mom SUV? Oh, that’s just your cousin. His provider beard is all that remains of his manhood after his wife made him have a vasectomy.

by DJtadd May 21, 2021

Bearded Men

Men with bears who are either really sexy, or likes other men. Goes by the name Dalton and kisses dudes is the locker room.

Bearded Men are just like Lil Nas X.

by that,dude,who,is,lightskin March 9, 2022

Beard blindness

A disorder in which one is unable to recognize a beard on anyone other but their significant other. A phenomenon that is sweeping the nation at a rapid pace, and affects one's ability to judge one's facial characteristics. Research has been on going and funding is needed. Please support it if you can.

"What the hell, Connor has a beard, I've never noticed."
"Damn you must have Beard blindness."

by meep12345678910 October 17, 2019

Chinese Beard

Slang for a surgical face mask often used in public areas to prevent the spread of illnesses, incredibly popular in the Asian community.

"Yo man, there's a cold going around. You better strap on your Chinese Beard!"

by Wookieflookieflame February 1, 2020