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toe religion

Once upon a time the toes came to this planet to remake the world in their image. Ever heard of the dinosaurs? Ever noticed how the big crater looks like the indent of a giant toe. The toes left us their disciples to finish cultivating the world. But we became too obsessed with our hands and fingers and strayed away from the holy body part( AKA toes). One day they will return and madness will befall all who do not stand with the toes.

We are not a cult

Join us
by Hello123toes April 27, 2024
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Masonite religion

The Masonite religion A religion in which it is required to show their buttholes to join the church, fornication on the regular is also used to practice celebrate the holy one, marijuana use it a requirement when attending meetings. The holy one has the golden butthole, the holy ones buttholes are molded out of concrete slabs that can be seen at the Masonite church
by Buttholemasonite September 17, 2021
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Pot noodle soup religion

A religion of which Draco Malfoy is the father Damon Salvatore is the son and Peppa Pig is the Holy Spirit
“Bro wats ur religion
“Pot noodle soup religion innit g”
by Dinosaur.broski November 14, 2020
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It's not the religion

It's the fucking religion. It will always be used by zealots and charlatans for evil and will never do anything good that can't be done by anyone NOT in an incest cult.
Derp "DERRRRRRP! DERRRRPPP! It'S not ThE rElIgIoN bUt ChRiStIaNiTy (And be extention Judaism because it's literally the same religion) LiTeRaLlY did ThE tHiNg I'm CoMpLaInInG about! DEERRRRRRRP!!!"

Hym "You... Literally just contradicted yourself there... The words you just now said were 'It's not the religion but the religion did the thing.' That violates the law of non'contradiction. If the religion caused the zionism... Then the religion is the cause of the zionism... If ZIONISM is the problem... Then the religion CAUSED THE PROBLEM. 'It's not the problem it's just THE CAUSE of the problem.' Is what you just said there. 'It's not the gun! It's the bullets!' Like, let it go. You don't need to use the religion instrumentally."
by Hym Iam July 25, 2024
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Religion cos play

A person who claims "God first" often in their social media but has never actually been to church, does not attend church, has never tithed to the church. They are also unlikely baptized.
Oh that's just religion cos play- stay away from her, she's not a woman of God.
by Goddoesnthaveyourback May 21, 2025
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Religion

Did I already do my take on this?
Religion "Well... You can't have what you want now... And maybe not ever... But if you do what I want you to do now... And then do that indefinitely... THEN... Then, you're DEFINITELY going to get what you want when you're dead! But do what I want you to do now because *insert semantic reconfiguration of reality to justify your subsidiarity to me*"

Hym "Do you have what you want, like, now or?"

Religion "Wha-er, What? Well... Yeah, I was doing the thing though."

Hym "Yeah... You say that... But I saw you NOT doing the thing and I don't believe that you're doing the thing when I'm not around..."

Religion "Well, umm... No, I did the thing..."

Hym "You certainly did A thing... What did you do? Wait... What's that book? You wrote it down? Lemme see..."

Religion "Umm... Yes?"

Hym "Yeahyeahyeah lemme see. I'm just going to bounce around... Ok.. Burned a city to the ground... Nailed an innocent guy to some wood... Killed a bunch of people and kidnapped their daughters!? WHAT!?"

Religion "Umm..."

Hym "Is THAT not YOUR little girl!?"

Little girl "Hi."

Hym "OHOHO! MAN! THAT... THAT is tragic! WOW! You are fucking twisted man. That is fucking twisted! Hahaha! You want ME to do THAT!?"

Religion "I mean... Yes?"

Hym "OK!"
😵🗡😁
Religion "HRRRGHK!!"

Hym "Hahahaha... *Sigh* Haaa... Now what do little girls eat? Do you eat priest?"

Little girl "No..."

Hym "Yeah, no I didn't think so... Hmm... I'll figure it out later."
by Hym Iam November 28, 2023
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