Slang term for evangelical atheists, who are always trying to convert you to atheism. A take-off on Jehovah's Witness, who are always coming around trying to convert you. These guys are the same thing in reverse, preaching Richard Dawkins to anyone who will listen.
by DelawareGuy January 4, 2008
Get the Dawkins' Witness mug.Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians who believe that the Bible is God's word and that Jesus is their Savior. This Christian denomination dates back to the late 19th century. Charles Taze Russel is credited with organizing the first Bible study groups that later gave origin to the Jehovah's Witness sect; these groups focused on Bible prophecy and the second coming of Christ. This second coming is said to have happened invisibly in 1914 - a date that was originally thought to mark the end of the world or Armageddon. Their name comes from the Bible, the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 43, Verses 10 and 11. The meaning behind the name is rather clear. It indicates that they bear witness to Jehovah - Jehovah being the personal name of God. There are about 16.6 million Jehovah's Witnesses around the world, with only three countries (US, Brazil, and Mexico) holding a population of over half a million. Of that number, approximately 6.7 million Jehovah's Witnesses are involved in active preaching and are part of the official statistic count. They believe in a supreme God - a spirit which has a body, but not a human body. Jesus is the Lord and Savior but He is not a part of God. They do not believe in the Trinity - the father, son and holy spirit - as, for example, Catholics do. Rather, Jesus is separate from God and was God's servant on Earth. Jesus is also said to have been given an exalted status in heaven to a higher level than angels.
Because they believe Jesus is not God, that prayer is a form of worship, and that one must not worship false gods, they pray to God, not Jesus. They believe that after the end of the world, which is imminent, 144,000 people will get a chance to go to heaven. The rest will have a chance to be resurrected and live on a permanent paradise on Earth, as long as they are virtuous in life. Those judged unrighteous will cease to exist. Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in a remaining soul after death. They believe all other religions to be false and are deeply involved in preaching as a way to impart the hope of resurrection to humanity. Politics is not an important part of life, as they believe governments will also be destroyed imminently. They rarely vote, and they do not take part in anything that has to do with national politics, including the singing of the national anthem or saluting the flag. They also do not celebrate birthdays or Christmas, and most avoid Thanksgiving, which they consider to be a Pagan holiday. Weddings and funerals are observed, and celebrating anniversaries is not forbidden. They tend to be conservative. Homosexuality, premarital sex, and abortion are considered sins. They do not accept blood transfusions, even if it means death. However, more and more hospitals are now using bloodless techniques in surgery, often crediting Jehovah's Witnesses as their push to research alternatives.
by ♫ Highway to Hell ♫ September 13, 2010
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The devout followers of the lord of rap, Jay-Z. They are marked in their position regarding conscientious objection to anything and refusal to submit to the police, which has brought them into conflict with some governments. Consequently, activities of Hova's Witnesses have been banned or restricted in some countries. Persistent legal challenges by Hova's Witnesses have had considerable influence on legislation related to civil rights in various countries. The best understood characteristic of a Hova's Witness is his or her refusal to "give a flying fuck" and inclination to "trip referees" at basketball games. They usually originate from New York City, particularly in the Brooklyn and Tribeca areas.
person 1: Dem Hova's Witnesses be thumpin' to some durty beats dawg.
person 2: Who dat? E-40?
person 2: Nigga its Jay-Z! (chck chck BAM)
person 2: Who dat? E-40?
person 2: Nigga its Jay-Z! (chck chck BAM)
by jayang May 1, 2011
Get the Hova's Witnesses mug.by Reds January 15, 2006
Get the wutless mug.A loving and caring human being worthy of love. Jehovah's Witnesses are taught to shun anyone who leaves the organization or questions the Watchtower's beliefs and doctrines. Jehovah's Witness Apostates are intelligent, talented contributing members of society who are kind to small children and small animals.
Jehovah's Witness Apostate: "Excuse me Ma'am, you dropped your wallet"
Little Old Lady: "Oh thank you dear"
Little Old Lady: "Oh thank you dear"
by Beth Shan2 August 26, 2013
Get the Jehovah's Witness Apostate mug.Jehovah's Witnesses—Who Are They? They are very misunderstood...They were suffering with the Jews in the Holocaust, but yet they still strive to gain God's approval and love. They do as they are scriptually instructed in showing love towards all and preaching the "Good News" of God's Kingdom.
by DCLBoogie March 19, 2010
Get the Jehovah's Witnesses—Who Are They? mug.He is one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
by Downstrike May 18, 2004
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