Manlet Monday

A time when a bunch of minuscule manlets get together to whine about having spent another torturous weekend alone as always and to mentally prepare themselves for an undoubtedly horrific week of constant humiliation and well-deserved bullying due to their laughably obvious manletism and abominable Napoleon complex. The stunted and diminutive manlet boys usually dance around wearing Oompa Loompa costumes while listening to Short People, thusly worshipping their idol Randy Newman in a futile and desperate bid to be finally blessed with an invaluable and long-awaited growth spurt.
Lol, why are those sissy manlets dressed up as Oompa Loompas holding hands over there? It must be Manlet Monday. Those midget monstrosities are probably waddling to the nearest hobbit-hole. Good. I don't want no short people around here.
by ManletDepreciator August 14, 2024
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misanthropic manlet

The perpetually petulant, paranoid and pessimistic petite misanthropic manlet is an isolated loner manlet who childishly shuns the company of grown-ups and instead prefers to focus his girlishly giddy energy on pursuing his numerous hobbies, including but not limited to: alcoholism, compulsively measuring his immutably dwarfed height every five minutes, e-shopping for children's clothes and high heels, daydreaming about getting pegged by a seven-foot tall dominatrix while he sings Short People in his high-pitched and squeaky-voiced manletspeak, performing delusional height increasing stretching exercises while listening to Skee-Lo's "I wish" and wearing nothing but high heels and a training bra, venting his manlet rage by ranting about how all women (righteously) reject and laugh at him at his local Bagel Boss and putting the finishing touches on his manlet manifesto before shooting up his favorite Barbie Dreamhouse due to the Barbie doll he was crushing on calling him an inherently effeminate, microscopically infinitesimal stunted beastling of a sissy manlet boy when she caught him in the Dreamhouse manlet pit as the deranged low IQ manlet was stupidly attempting to give the, by comparison towering, Ken doll a standing blowjob.
Emma: Lol, why is that misanthropic manlet furiously dry humping that garden gnome over there? Allison: It's because manlets can't be choosers. Emma: Short people got nobody. Allison: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator September 11, 2024
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materialistic manlet

A deleteriously diminutive, overcompensating and money-grubbing manlet boy who futilely seeks to overcome his devastatingly desolating manletism by imprudently purchasing expensive goods such as gold-plated high heels and jewel-encrusted step stools. The puny materialistic manlet can often be detected as he effeminately prances around in upscale boutiques, accompanied by his giggling and squabbling clique of preposterously petite, pint-sized materialistic manlet girlfriends. Here the seriously stunted silly sissy manlets put on tiny, little fashion shows by daintily skipping along a catwalk consisting of an empty shoe box as the delusional runway manlets delightedly display their prospective new short shorts, summer dresses and high heels while the surrounding fawning manlet fairies shower them with rose petals and girlishly sip strawberry margaritas out of pink ampoules.
Manmore 1: Lol, look at that garishly dressed materialistic manlet prancing around wearing his new mink coat and gold-plated high heels! Manmore 2: At least it only cost one poor minklet his life to make that microscopic manlet's lilliputian, little coatlet. Manmore 1: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 29, 2024
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Manlet detected

Manlet (a male shorter than 5ft10) detected. Employed to draw attention to the discovery of the location of a manlet. Comically stunted, terminally insecure and brimming with manlet rage, the puny manlet can often be detected when he is blowing in the wind like a leaf outside, stumbling around in public wearing high heels on the way to visit his prison daddy or seethingly glaring at you from the accursed depths of the manlet pit in your local gym.
Hey, why is that child rolling around on the ground over there? Manlet detected - it's Tiny Todd Howard, I think he is wrestling with an earthworm! Lol, that worm must be like an anaconda to that petite and insignificant manlet boy!
by ManletDepreciator August 12, 2024
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manlet uprising

The top secret manlet (stunted sissy boys shorter than 5ft10) plan to somehow sneakily overthrow the rightfully ruling magnificent manmores (6ft+ tall real men) and average height (5ft10/11) men who naturally terrify them and to then finally live in a fictional manlet paradise where high heels are free and height actually doesn't matter (because everybody is a devastatingly dwarfed and girlishly gnomish manlet queen). Here the microscopically minuscule midget manlet monstrosities would of course live completely segregated from all womenfolk because even when there isn't a single manmore left on earth, obviously no women is going to consent to committing social suicide by dating a preposterously petite and scandalously stunted, puny little manlet princess. And so the inherently effeminate manlet fairies are then forced to replicate by means of mitosis, a fact that amusingly doesn't prevent them from perpetrating aggressive mating attempts upon one another and collectively engaging in mortifyingly futile manlet mating rituals in front of basketball arenas and microbiology labs. Manlets, when will they learn?
Manmore 1: Do you think that the Bagel Boss Manlet would be the ladylike leader of a short-lived and subsequently subjugated manlet uprising or would the dubious honor got to Todd "Turbo-manlet" Howard? Manmore 2: Tiny Todd "Stacked Heels" Howard, for sure! Manmore 1: Todd "High Heeled Homunculus" Howard it is then. Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator October 11, 2024
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manlet mathematics

The completely and utterly delusional, laughably pathetic and farcical method of calculation by which the petite and effeminate runt of a sissy manlet boy unconscionably inflates his shamefully diminutive and dwarfish short stature.
Microscopic turbo-manlet: I'm 5ft4 - let's round that up to 5ft5. If I stand on my tippy toes, then I'm 5ft6. Plus, when I wear my favorite pair of high heels, I'm 5ft8. So that's basically 5ft10. If I now translate that into guy height, then I'm 6ft tall - finally a big boy (starts crying). Towering manmore: Just lol at you and your manlet mathematics. That's nothing more than spurious and elflike mental gymnastics. Manlets, when will they learn?
by ManletDepreciator August 19, 2024
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megachurch manlet

A megachurch manlet is a massively delusional microscopic manlet boy who senselessly, sinfully and insolently dares to sully the sanctity of the house of the Lord with his abominable attendance, thereby bringing upon himself inexorable divine wrath because it clearly states in the Bible in Leviticus 21:20 that no dwarf shall draw near the temple. For shame! The sacrilegious sissy manlet would be well-advised to sacrifice himself by jumping into the depths of the manlet pit, in order to appease the venerated Randy Newman, the patron saint of manletism. If his derisory offering is excepted, then the preposterously petite midget monstrosity will be blessed by having his dying wish granted, being that Short People shall be played at his nanoscopic funeral.
Sophia: Hey, why is that tarred and feathered megachurch manlet exhaustedly carrying around that cross pendant on his back over there? Isabella: It's the devastatingly dwarfed manlet's just punishment following is immediate excommunication because he got totally wasted off of one sip of communion wine and then urinated into the holy water font. Sophia: Silly manlet boys. The Passion of the Manlet. Isabella: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 30, 2024
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