Canadian Jelqing

To Jelq one must yank thy penis to enlarge,
Canadian Jelqing is to put a large source of Maple Syrup, cheese, Gravy, Snow, Moose hide, on the tip of the penis to enlarge it

Hey dude have you heard anything about Canadian Jelqing Lets try it!

by THEjelqmaxer August 7, 2024

Jeffay Jelqing Jive

A performance complementary to a Mavin Masturbation Manoeuvre, whereby one forcibly eLENGgates your wene by grappling the shaft with vigour to make it bigger whilst Mark's mellifluous white girl melodies are resonating around the room (goon-cave), to provide a spectacle and a salty treat.

Willie Leng: "Hey big Wood, I hear you've be attempting to eLENGgate your wene by performing a Jeffay Jelqing Jive"
Big Wood: "yeah man, I'm gonna have the Lengest wene on Mavin Street!"

by JimmyTomlinson2 November 26, 2023

Jewish Jelqing

The act of a Jewish man stretching out his penis to try and attempt to make an impact on the population, due to the sheer size of Jewish peoples tiny penises.

"Hey I'm Jewish, I'm Jewish Jelqing"

"I don't fucking care"

by Matthew Munt May 6, 2024

Sentence jelqing

When you expand a sentence needlessly so you can meet word count requirements on an assignment without putting in the effort to add more ideas

The teacher took points off when grading an essay and wrote a note telling them to stop sentence jelqing

by Eushshtb September 29, 2024

quantum jelqing

quantum jelqing is the act of jelqing for such an extended period of time that the penis is thinner than an atom

Guy 1: Is that a string?
Guy 2: No, Gary's just been quantum jelqing.

by HawkTuahRegimer October 22, 2024

Flicker Jelqing

It's the art of Jelqing but instead of pulling you flicker it around making it more efficient at the job and improving the size and experience of the Jelq.

AAGGHHHH FLICKER JELQING IS SO MUCH BETTER THEN JELQING

I JUST FLICKER JELQED ON THE TEACHER OMG!!!

by JelqMaster3001 December 4, 2024

Hyper Jelqing

The art of continuously pulling on one's penis to create tiny microfiber tears in the penal region to gain anywhere from 10 inches to the length of the universe over an unending period of time at speeds exceeding mach 10!!!!

Charles: "I have just begun my Hyper Jelqing session and I have already gained 20 feet to my dick"
Zakary: "type shit skibbidi rizz, i might need to start that my shit small ong i want one that wraps around the solar system"
Luke: "I must create microfiber tears to make my penal region bigger than Earth, Space, and Time. I will create rips in the spacetime continuum.

by Sketchy white van 69 December 6, 2024