Do you want to know how I got these scars?

What the Joker says to people before telling them a story about how he got the scars on the sides of his mouth in The Dark Knight.

The first story involves his drunk father killing his mother, then cutting the sides of his son's mouth with a knife to make it appear as if he is always smiling. This is where the line "Why So Serious?" is said in the movie.

The second story is different, in which he talks about his wife. He states that he puts a razor in his mouth and moves it around, therefore cutting himself, giving himself more scars.

Story 1: Do you want to know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious?" He comes at me with the knife, "Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth, "Let's put a smile on that face!" And...Why so serious?

Story 2: Well, you look nervous. Is it the scars? Do you wanna know how I got them? C'mere...Hey, look at me...So I had a wife. Beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much; who tells me I oughta smile more, who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. Hey...One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries; she can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. Hm? I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars! So, I stick a razor in my mouth and do this to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now i'm always smiling!

by Painted in Laughter October 11, 2008

No, I don't want to take my pants off

This is what you say when someone near you is on the phone so whoever they happen to be talking to thinks they were about to get some but then were rejected.

Victim: "Oh, yeah so the other night I was talking to-"
Random person: "No, I don't want to take my pants off!"
Person on the phone: "Who was that..?"
Victim: "Um...."

by ReneeHasAPandaHat November 10, 2010

do you want to die

the sassier/classier form of the popular phrase "fuck off"

can be used anytime someone around you needs to be taken down a peg due to aggressive or hostile behavior or inappropriate/unwarranted sass

you can exponentially increase the sassiness of this phrase by using it against someone in their own home

Friend A: "Man it must suck to be as ugly as you."

Friend B: "Hey Carl. Do you want to die."

by MarinIsExtra March 30, 2017

so bored i want to die

the way i feel right now. caused by lack of sleep lack of friends lack of proper nutrition and lack of fucks given. the only way to end it is to listen to the inconsiderate voices that i hear and try to block out on a min. to min. basis but that would end in catastrophe

me:"im so bored i want to die"

voices:"ok then die"

by youbetchyah July 18, 2018

the center for kids who cant read good and want to learn how to do other stuff good too

a place to help kids

owned by: Derek Zoolander

MUGATU: i present to you... THE DEREK ZOOLANDER CENTER FOR KIDS WHO CAN'T READ GOOD! (unveils a model of the center for kids who cant read good and want to learn how to do other stuff good too)

DEREK: ..what is this?! a center for ants?!?! how can we be expected to teach children how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?!

by 2 cool girl August 2, 2011

I don't want to say this, but

A preamble, often used, which precedes something that the speaker cannot resist the urge to say (for a variety of reasons including loose mouth).
It is also either or both of the following:
Extremely critical of the person being spoken to, Revealing the true nature of the person speaking.

"I don't want to say this, but you're a heartless bastard who is too eager to get into fights"

by verbusaccidentibus February 6, 2010

Once you go metal you won't want to settle

Basically, It's the future of sex. Once a sexy female robot comes around and you have sex with her, you won't want to settle for less. With robotic women: no STD, no pregnancy, no condom, no problem. The term "Once you go metal, you won't want to settle can be seen in a poster featuring Jenny Wakeman(XJ9). Jenny XJ9 is an attractive robot from the show "My Life as a Teenage Robot". It is after XJ9 got the 18 year old upgrade in rule 34 that the term, "once you go metal, you won't want to settle" began to be used. It get's hotter. Jenny wakeman is hot! Jenny XJ9 is sexy! Jenny Wakeman is from the show MLaaTR. I would pick Jenny XJ9 over a human any day.

Random Dude:*Jumps on Jenny the gynoid robot and has sex with her.*
Jenny Wakeman:*Does guy for 5 hours*
Random Dude:*Continues to have sex with Jenny XJ9.*
Random Dude:Oh yeah!
Jenny Wakeman: Wow!
Random Dude:I want more!
Jenny Wakeman:You can't be serious!
Random Dude: Yes! Uh! Oh! Energizer bunny:Once you go metal you won't want to settle.

by TheMatrixShrooms November 4, 2012