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The Noose Song

What's the greatest kind of knot
That you can tie with ease?
It's useful and it's happy
And it suits your every need
Well i'm about to tell you
But first I have to note
That you never should never consider
Putting a rope around your throat

So, let's learn how to tie a noose
It's practical for every use!
All you need is a piece of rope
And to never give up hope

You make a loop and the snake goes down
But changes it's mind and turns around
And climbs back up to the top again
This is where the fun begins
You take the snake and spiral down
And at the bottom
What has he found?
The snake goes into the rabbit's hole
Then you give the top a pull
Never consider self abuse
This is how you tie a noose
Guy 1: I need to learn how to tie a noose for some halloween decor, but I just can't figure out how!
Guy 2: Just watch The Noose Song on youtube! It's informative, funny, and filled to the brim with satire!
by Alchemist657 July 3, 2020
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headphone noose

The tangle of your headphones around your neck when you wake up after falling asleep listening to music. While never proven to be fatal, it definately freaks those who wake up with headphone nooses out. A very stressful start to the day, the stress can only be alleviated with snus
Vinny: Dude i woke up in the worst mood
Hayley: Why?
Vinny: I woke up with the tightest headphone noose and i was not about to go listening to the shitty playlist i fell asleep to
Hayley: I feel you, snus it up and sweat it off
by Frenchperiod7 June 2, 2011
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Slip the noose

To skillfully avoid getting married.
Eric and Beth have been together for years and still aren't married. He really knows how to slip the noose!
by Chad Apollo May 19, 2022
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noose me

A phrase where a person will only say it when they are in such a dellemer.
"I can't believe I just missed that shot, noose me."
by Slick Stick January 20, 2017
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noose move

when two or more people trying to kill themselves by hanging but someone leaves in the middle
person one: have you heard koren hang himself yesterday

person two: yea i heard mike was supposed to join him but he did a noose move and left
by AHumanoidNugget April 29, 2021
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Deuce-Noose

A deuce-noose is the act of shitting on some one's neck then lightly choking the same person. This is usually done during sex with a agreeable partner and not meant to be a means to murder.
I met this girl at the bar last night that was into some weird s&m type shit. Literally she wanted me to give her a deuce-noose.
by TGFL STRAWBERRY December 5, 2018
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tube noose

A shit that is so large that it gets wedged at the point of discharge, causing a strangling-type of effect on the host - where they struggle and lose breath for a while.
We found Duncan on the floor of his toilet on Sunday morning. He was unconscious with a tube noose hanging out of his arse. Kenny kicked it out and he started breathing again.
by Zonal K October 27, 2019
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