The midwife manlet is an inherently effeminate, dwarfishly diminutive and laughably lowly little manlet boy who ineffectively assists women in childbirth by immediately passing out as soon as the delivery begins, before then being repeatedly dipped into a small cup of povidone-iodine solution and used as a surgical rag by one of the attending grown-up medical professionals during the course of the parturition. After the procedure is completed, the gory and severely stunted sleeping sissy midwife manlet is usually thrown out with the rest of the biomedical waste or briefly stored in a doggy bag to be later fed to one of the nurses' hungry chihuahuas as a bite-sized snack. The life of a midwife manlet is short, just like the girlish midwife manlet herself.
Manmore doctor 1: Hey, what's that rustling in the biomedical waste dumpster over there? Manmore doctor 2: It's probably just a trashed midwife manlet. I'll just pee into the dumpster real quick and then we can go play some golf! Manmore doctor 1: The dumpster must be like a cathedral to that preposterously petite runt of a pipsqueak prison wife manlet princess. Manmore doctor 2: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator September 29, 2024
Get the midwife manlet mug.The medieval manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10, who suffers from the devastating disability of manletism) is a microscopically minuscule midget manlet who has been driven to madness by manletism and now exceedingly enjoys engaging in mortifying public live-action fantasy role-playing games with other deranged medieval manlets by first wrapping each other up in a tiny tinfoil armor and then charging towards one another atop of hamsters while wielding improvised toothpick lances in a decidedly diminutive mockery of a medieval jousting tournament, until one of the malignant manlet knights is struck and catapulted into the adjacent manlet pit, where he is then stoned to death with confiscated high heels by the laughing and jeering manmores in the bewildered crowd of towering onlookers. The triumphant little manlet princess is then declared queen for a day and is allowed to pick a pair of high heels out of the manlet pit to wear to his victory pizza dinner later at Chuck E. Cheese before then being introduced to his new role as a medieval manlet mantlet, which is a portable pint-sized, literally subhuman wall or shield used for absorbing projectiles in medieval warfare. He can also be mounted on a wheeled carriage by use of a fifteen-inch rectally inserted suction cup dildo to then partially protect one grown-up soldier.
Janet: Hey, why is my pet hamster coughing up tiny pieces of tinfoil again? Evelyn: No worries, he probably just ate another medieval manlet. That nanoscopic peewee runt of a pipsqueak manlet won't do your much larger hamster any harm.
by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024
Get the medieval manlet mug.The abominable pickup artist manlet (a subhumanly stunted male shorter than 5ft10) is an exceptionally delusional, pea-brained low IQ manlet, even by manlet standards, because he has injudiciously chosen to invest all of his girlishly giddy energy into the frivolous pursuit of the exact group of people who despise and loathe manlet boys the most - the universality of womankind. Afflicted by indescribably immense levels of manlet cope, manlet mathematics, guy height and small man syndrome, the pint-sized, peewee pipsqueak pickup artist manlet can often be detected lying unconscious outside of bars and restaurants while wearing 9 inch high heels and an Oompa Loompa costume after another one of his childish mental midget seduction techniques of peacocking and negging unsurprisingly went awry yet again, hanging around in front of nightclubs while desperately offering to give all of the manmore bouncers standing blowjobs if they will only agree to let him drink out of an unflushed toilet in the women's bathroom and fearfully hopping around on the sidewalks of red-light districts while trying not to get stepped on and squashed as the diminutive and deranged turbo-manlet frantically attempts to peak up the skirts of all of the disgusted women that cross his precariously petite path. Short people got nobody. Manlets, when will they learn?
Pickup artist manlet: Wow, that ass must be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that! Hannah: You can fuck right off, you grotesquely gnomish pickup artist manlet! Choke on your dwarfish manletspeak and go posture check yourself, while I'll go have hot sex with my 6ft7 tall magnificent manmore boyfriend, you utterly insignificant, petite and effeminate, stunted little sissy fairy manlet abomination! Completely and utterly manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024
Get the pickup artist manlet mug.The highly entertaining, hilarious and trendy new sport of manlet tossing, which is surely soon to be recognized by the International Olympic Committee as an Olympic sport, consists of two or more competitors who take turns selecting a captured manlet out of the manlet pile in the adjacent manlet pit, to then effortlessly lift the pint-sized pipsqueak peewee manlet up onto their shoulders, before subsequently tossing the dwarfishly diminutive, stunted little manlet boy as far as they possibly can. If most of the onlookers refrain from urinating into the manlet pit over the course of the competition, then the kidnapped manlets will even agree to sing their favorite song Short People in veneration of their God and hero Randy Newman as they are being hurled through the air!
Manmore 1: Hey, why is that group of children standing around in that parking lot over there? Manmore 2: They seem to be engaging in the universally popular new sport of manlet tossing. Lol, that little girl just threw a subhumanly stunted squealing sissy manlet clear across the parking lot into a nearby trashcan, where he obviously belongs! Manmore 1: Gold medal! Manmore 2: Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 1, 2024
Get the manlet tossing mug.The barnyard manlet, also known as the cabbage patch manlet, is a microscopically minuscule misanthropic manlet who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by the devastatingly deadly disability of manletism (the catastrophically crippling curse of excruciatingly and eternally existing as a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), that he now indulges in a countryside lifestyle by frolicking around like the tiny fairy that he is in barnyards while wearing flowery and frilly summer dresses and high heels. Quickly adapting to his new environment, akin to the stunted sub-aquatic murloc manlet, the bitterly boyish barnyard manlet is always eager to please his superlatively superior, supremely magnificent manmore farmer overlord by enthusiastically serving as a chew toy for the towering farmer's guard dogs, as a garden gnome (naturally), a doorstop, a leg rest, a spittoon and as a Stalinesquely stunted hobbit scarecrow after rightfully receiving a hanging wedgie from a laughing pig named Napoleon and then sobbingly dangling for hours on end suspended by his pink panties from a toothpick embedded in a field in the middle of nowhere. Manlet Animal Farm. In his spare time the barnyard manlet enjoys mud wrestling chickens (before having his way with them) and chugging down copious amounts of Hobbit Ale (made from fermented rabbit poop and petty-dwarf roots) mixed with horse semen (in the desperate hope of finally triggering a growth spurt), as is the dwarven tradition.
Barnyard manlet: Hey there sweet cheeks, do you wanna buy some of my Hobbit Ale? Samantha: Absolutely not! Now cease your tall tales manletspeak, choke on your enema juice, posture check yourself, pick up your high heels and then go cry in the nearest manlet pit, you grotesquely gnomish, petite and puny, ridiculous runt of an effeminate Ewok mama's boy midget monstrosity! Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 2, 2024
Get the barnyard manlet mug.The Manlet is a hilariously brilliant trollsome poem penned by the phenomenally formidable 6-foot tall English mathematician, logician, photographer and novelist, the invigoratingly illustrious Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known by his notable nom de plume Lewis Carroll. True to the nature of the mental giant and valiant visionary that Lewis Carroll unquestionably was, The Manlet much later kickstarted and inspired the heavily manletism-focused online height enthusiast movement, that still remains universally beloved and enthusiastically active, by for example periodically manifesting itself via the perhaps less elegant but certainly equally eloquent manlet death threads that providentially pervade the internet to this very day. Before tragically dying of pneumonia in 1898 at the age of 65, Lewis Carroll invented a word puzzle game that he called the doublet, no doubt as a final nod to all of the magnificent manmores out there who would inevitably in the future aspire to follow in his colossal footsteps.
Manmore 1: ... and that's how the minuscule manlet boy ended up in the vacuum cleaner bag. By the way, what's your favorite song? Manmore 2: The musical masterpiece Short People by the godlike Randy Newman of course! What's your favorite poem, brah? Manmore 1: The Manlet by the preeminent Lewis Carroll, without a doubt! Manmore 2: Short people got no reason. Manmore 1: Dwarfishly-statured manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 8, 2024
Get the The Manlet mug.A hollaback manlet is a petite and effeminate, little manlet princess (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by his overpowering manletism-induced small man syndrome, that the perpetually petulant and preposterously puny, girlishly gnomish runt of an Oompa Loompa Ewok sissy manlet fairy instantly erupts into comically childish manlet rage at even the slightest provocation (real or imagined by the quarrelsome manlet queen). Known for throwing hissy fits when asked to sit at the kid's table at family gatherings, crying himself to sleep every night because the microscopically minuscule midget monstrosity is even shorter than Gwen Stefani and furiously engaging in extremely embarrassing public verbal manletspeak catfights with other hunched hollaback manlets because all of the scandalously stunted sissy manlets are hopelessly in love with the same massive and magnificent manmore, the haplessly hateful hollaback manlet never falls short of radically raising the bar for mortifying manlet cope and devastatingly delusional mental midget manlet mathematics. Chris "Bagel Boss Manlet" Morgan is the perfect example of the hilarious consequences that inevitably occur when a high heels wearing hollaback manlet feels slighted in even the tiniest and most insignificant way, if only for the shortest amount of time.
Myopic manlet: Uh-huh, this my shit, all the manlets stomp your tiny feet like this... Manmore: Manlet detected. Halt! Instantly cease your manletspeak and scarf down your high heels before I perform a citizen's arrest by stuffing you into this half-empty cigarette packet! Don't make me call the Manlet Detection Agency, you spinelessly subhuman, short people got no reason, halfling Homunculus hollaback manlet!
by ManletDepreciator October 8, 2024
Get the Hollaback Manlet mug.