scotch conference

a fake meeting/consultation which is actually an excuse to go out drinking (usually but not fundamentally scotch ).

sorry; I cant make it to your Bar Mitzvah, I have an important scotch conference.

by jdvb May 10, 2010

scotch bonnet

the act of blowing one's load all up in some slut's hair.

she tried to take my dick out her mouf, but it was too late. she got her a scotch bonnet.

by Sanildris October 4, 2003

boob scotch

an alcoholic drink created when scotch on the rocks is stirred by a female breast

Dude, we got boob scotch! That bitch just stuck her tit in my drink!

by stoog March 17, 2003

Scotchy's Shit-Wagon

Alternative name for the Pork Scotch Van or half-car after a huge frozen dump was put on the roof of it. The crap thawed out overnight and was nicely baking in the sun the next day before the Scotchers emerged for their daily jaunt to buy barbecue food. Scotchy didn't spot it at first so he drove round with a turd just a few inches from his fat bald koala head.

Bloody hell what's that I can smell?

That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.

Filthy old bastard.

by Benny Twadge August 22, 2009

poop scotch

a word that caters to anything you want it to be. Usually could be interpreted as "that's nonsense". Often spelled as two words--poopscotch.

1 "Final exams are poop scotch"
2. "wow, your acting like poop scotch right now.."
3. Pooper McGavin is a great golfer, but right now he is playing like poop scotch"

by samstown1 May 9, 2010

Pork Scotch Barbecue

A barbecue arranged by a boring old twat. No one turns up except his ugly girlfriend. They eat garlic bread at a plastic table, then proceed to drink gin and tonic until they're almost comatose. At which point the boring fat twat plays crap music very loud and dances like a spack. No Pork Scotch Barbecue is complete without the tedious "host" donning a leather cowboy hat, imagining he's a 5 foot 4 Clint Eastwood.

Flonkule: Is The Porky Scotcher at work today?

Mickus: No its not and the Sun's out so you know what that means don't you?

Flonkule: Bollocks! Another Pork Scotch Barbecue!

by Lumpbag May 24, 2009

Pork Scotch 2

Abreviated to PS2. A second man that has a Pork Scotch but is in complete contrast to the original Pork Scotch. He is actually a really nice bloke that you can relate to and be friends with. Pork Scotch is a boring, fat old security guard that believes he is supreme enough place a cone where he parks his shitty old van with an odd number of windows. PS2 also has a white van with normal van windows that is much cleaner than Pork Scoth's. He will join Pork Scotch at his several barbeques and has a son we call PSP. Pork Scotch 2's real name is Jim. The 2 Pork Scotch's rooms are right next to each other in the same flats building. They each wear different hats, Pork Scotch has a gay buffalo hat and Pork Scotch 2 has a cap.

Me: A up Jim. What are you gonna do today?

Pork Scotch 2: I'm gonna go with Ant and my Mum to town and watch TV with them, mate.

Me: Ok, what about you Harry?

Pork Scotch: I'm gonna go to the pub to watch Arsenal lose and then eat some garlic bread with Goofy Granny.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 28, 2009