A person in Twitter dotcom who only posts bad takes on twitter. He sleeps crying because his idol keep ghosting in Rome. And cannot visit Wembley because of his trauma in 2011.
"Oh look, phantom with another bad take *pretends to be shocked*
Ghostly presence of furniture from the last tenant of the apartment you're renting. It can appear late in the night, especially if you go get a glass of water with the lights turned off. Are usually easy to get rid of with a simple exorcism.
Vilmar: Damn, I just stubbed my toe on some of Joe's phantom furniture.
Torkild: Who's Joe?
Vilmar: He's the guy who rented this apartment before I moved in.
Torkild: Boy, you need to perform an exorcism on this place.
To masturbate or "whack off", whilst wearing a balaclava in the same room as your mate while he has sex with a girl. Often the "Phantom Batter" is hidden under a desk, under the bed or behind the curtains. Ultimately, the "Batter" needs to be hidden, all lights off and making sure to be very careful about how much noise he makes whilst rubbing one out.
By definition, its fine if your mate knows your in the room, but its only a "phantom bat" if the girl has no idea of the Phantoms presence, otherwise your just a broski having a toss.
Trev: "Michael was a Phantom Batter last night while i was giving it to Susan !"
Jason: "Haha, for real ?"
Michael: "Yeh bro, I was hiding under Trev's desk with a balaclava on ! She totally never saw me"