Jehovah's Witnesses

The reason why Rottweilers were sent to Earth.
Pepperspray works too...
by sux0r October 13, 2003
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Jehovah's Witnesses

Ive been brought up as a Jehovahs witness my entire life and in that time I have come to treasure their teachings and the way in which they follow the bible and unitedly interpret it in the way Jehovah god intended. Why would god inspire the bible for mankind to understand and give us the intellectual capacity to do so if its all a mystery, not to be fully understood?

I am in my early 20s and although left the faith to experience the world indulging into sex, drugs n' rock n' roll, I soon came to find nothing in the world but the fact I once followed Jehovahs witnesses gave me a sense of purpose or self actualization. In the time I left the faith I concentrated my time looking into other beliefs, both in christianity and new religious movements, also buddism, hidusim and paganism. By careful critisim I found too many inconsistences with their practices and belief systems as they were all very lax and believed in self directecd interpretations as opposed to all unitedly agreeing. Jehovahs witnesses are the only religion that worships Jehovah as oposed to only exonerating Jesus, gods son. They do not believe in the trinity but one god Jehovah; Jesus as his son and Jehovahs Holy spirit. Not that all three are one! They do not believe in Hell as that is NOT a bible teaching but a man made doctrine, AS IS THE TRINITY, as I found in extensive research over the past years. They believe in a paradise on earth and as the bible reads, only 144,000 will rule in heaven with jesus, not everyone that dies goes to heaven, just that annointed number of people; which is also clearly outlined in the bible.

I without doubt understand and acknowledge that some unaware of the true teachings and beliefs of the Jehovah's Witnesses are more than hesitant to listen or respect their beliefs; and that is fine, all they want to do is share their truths with you, volunteerally I might add, so that everyone they reach can come to an "accurate knowledge of the truth" and Jehovah the Almighty.

Gosh Ive rambled on, but I for myself have chosen to become a Jehovahs Witness because they can accurately answer from the bible any questions I have and I genuinely believe Jehovah is the one and only true God of whom we should worship. However I sincerely respect those who have different belief systems as we all have the 'free will' to choose our paths whether crooked or straight.

"Jehovah is my god to time indefinite, even forever"
by L-Jay October 09, 2006
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Jehovah's Witnesses

A cult that practices shunning of former members and refusal of blood transfusions. They feel free to preach endlessly to you, but will not read anything you provide them on alternative opinions believing it to be originating from Satan.
Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to speak to former members, even if they are family. Some chose to leave, others may have been disfellowshipped, a form of excommunication.
Problem:
If you were once a JW and now have learned new information, how can you enlighten current JWs if they are not allowed to talk to you. That is why they are a cult.
by rodneyfaile October 20, 2006
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Jehovah's witness

I was raised a witness, though I'm not involved anymore. They are not a cult, as some on here will have you believe.

They are a fundamentalist sect of Christianity. Yes they are annoying when out preaching, but tell them not to come back and they won't.

Unlike the Catholics, they aren't responsible for some of histories greatest atrocities. In fact, they are a very peace-loving people who live simple lives, centered around strong family values and honesty in all things. If Jesus wouldn't even let Peter defend him with his sword, what sense does it make that mainstream Christianity has caused or condoned every war in the last two thousand years?

Those who say that their interpretation of the bible is wrong clearly don't study history. Things like the Trinity, the date of Christmas and the differentiation of the clergy/laity don't know that those things were added by the council of nicea 400 years after Jesus died. That council was lead by emperor Constantine, who was a pagan until the day he died. He added those and other rules to ease Rome into converting.

Of all the religious nutjobs out there, they are about the most harmless. I'm not saying I'd ever rejoin, but that's just because I hate religion. Just about every witness I know is as nice a person as I could ever hope to meet.
Yeah those Jehovah's witnesses are kind of kookie, but at least they never burned people alive just for owning a bible like the Catholics did...
by Woogie boogie! March 14, 2012
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Jehovah's Witnesses

a bunch of boring mothafuckers who dont selebrate birthdays
they feel it is there goal to anooy the fuck out of normal people
ben- did you talk to those Jehovah's Witnesses bible fags
christian- nah just told the fags i was buddist, stupid cocks
by cwk April 05, 2006
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jehovahs witness

A group of people that study the bible. Not to be mistaken for a cult because they have the choice to leave whenever they want to. They make a habit of spending at least an hour every week going door to door and preaching. There prophesying may have been wrong in the past but they are genuinely nice people. They were also persecuted during the holocaust along with the Jews and Roma. They do in fact encourage their members to pursue post secondary education. Their people make the best husbands and wives out there.
'Yo guy, just talked to a jehovahs witness for kicks'

'why'

' No reason. He was surprisingly nice.'
by Scaramouch October 27, 2011
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Jehovah's Witnesses

Wicked evil people who show up on your doorstep at 3 in the morning and ask stupid questions such as (Note: the proper responses are listed below questions):

1. Have you found Jesus?
PR: Why NO. Why don't you come in and help me look for him? Sumbitch must be around here somewhere!
2. Would you like a copy of Watchtower?
PR: Thank you sir/madam. I needed some more kindling. (take publication, walk over to fireplace, and throw it in).
3. Would you like to donate to our ministry here in (insert town here)?
PR: I would but I am opposed to A. Panhandling B. Government Controlled Religious freaks.
Man them damned Jehovah's Witnesses came knockin again this morning.

What'd you do bro?

Answered the door naked.
by Unholy Jester121 September 05, 2009
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