intoxicated to the point of impossibly blurred vision, incomprehensible slurred speech, and an inability to hear anything over the sound of the blood pounding in your ears
by Greg Giraldo October 15, 2010

Ben: "I hate getting flash banged! I couldn't see, hear, or talk! I was Helen-Kellered!"
Jordan: "Yeah where's the miracle worker when you need her?"
Jordan: "Yeah where's the miracle worker when you need her?"
by imnotyourbro February 15, 2008

After recieving a blowjob, the male will pull out and ejaculate in the eyes of the female thus blinding her. When she stands to reprimand you, smash her ears as with your hands as if you are smashing tamborines together, thus leaving her blind and deaf
"That skank i took home from the club last night was getting lippy with me so I gave her a helen keller to shut her up."
by pdizz November 25, 2007

"I lost my sunglasses at the bottom of the pool and i don't have goggles!"
"We're gonna be late. Just Helen Keller it."
"Turn on the light. I can't find my keys."
"My lights burned out, and Wendy's is about to close. Just Helen Keller it."
"We're gonna be late. Just Helen Keller it."
"Turn on the light. I can't find my keys."
"My lights burned out, and Wendy's is about to close. Just Helen Keller it."
by Kyled avis October 16, 2008

When a person gets too piss drunk and talks to others in a bar and doesn't realize that the other person has walked away and continues talking anyway.
by milnor April 16, 2006

This sexual maneuver can be achieved to finish off a blow job. All the guy has to do is remove his penis from the mouth, ejaculate in the eyes, and clap the girl on the sides of the head forcefully.
Johnny didn't know how to tell Stacey how they're relationship was over. So he just gave her the Helen Keller.
by gtheg April 1, 2008

by joshiev06 May 21, 2006
