pitiful excuse for a used douche

An insulting phrase used to describe a woman (if you could call her one) that's more insulting than calling her a douchebag or even a douchenoozle.

Flo from a certain insurance company's commercials is a pitiful excuse for a used douche.

by Telephony November 16, 2013

Douche

1: A feminine hygiene product presented as being great for women when in truth they're worthless bottles of scented water that often lead to vaginal infections.

2: like the product, a guy who acts like he is a great catch for women when in truth they're useless, overdressed, scented bags of worthlessness that often lead to vaginal infections.

The 10 behaviors of a douche:
Look at how rich I am.

Look at how well dressed I am.

Look at how handsome I am.

Look at my awesome body.

I'm so much better than everyone else.

I'm a deeper thinker than others.

I'm such a deep feeler in my big heart.

All women want me.

Any girl would be fortunate to have me.

And I'm such a modest person.

Demitrie left a ten minute message on my voicemail telling me about how wonderful he is and how fortunate I am to have met him because all the girls want him; he's such a douche!

by American English Teacher June 9, 2021

douche hatted fuck monkey

A person who exceeds the limits of douche baggery. Often times used to describe the most hated person in a class or group of people.

Mike drank all my booze and didn't pay a dime for it. He's such a douche hatted fuck monkey

by Kidl154 September 10, 2014

Aging Hippie Liberal Douche

A former hippie with sterotypical beliefs, who may or may not still externaly show their hippiness, and have liberal beliefs. This phrase was coined on an episode of South Park. An example of a possible aging hippie is a man in his late fifties/early sixties, afull beard, but groomed, long strait hair, usually braided or tied into a pony tail, and openly speaks out their beliefs in the way of an activist.

Oh God, here comes that aging hippie liberal douche, we better get out of here before we have to hear his bitching.

by Yalts March 30, 2008

Douchability

The percent chance that an outing will have an insurmountable amount of douche bags hanging around and comparing douche beards and faux hawks. Or talking about who could kick whose ass every five minutes. You might know if you have douchability if you can understand the native bark of a fellow douche bag. It sounds somewhat like a mountain lion raping a bear. They can also be found at clubs dancing in horny trains or fist pumping.

That man walking has a great amount of douchability
Why? He's wearing break away pants to a Kevin Federline concert.That Sigma Kappa frat party has a 90% chance of douchability.They are having a baby oil body builder contest and the first prize is a lifetime supply of wifebeaters and a body butter slip n' slide stripper pole.
Holy shit that guy just punched a hole in his wall from fist pumping too hard.He must have just shot himself up with raging douchability.

by ShalaneGogilac July 20, 2010

Douche Law

An unspoken law of the universe, stating that attractive females are inherently drawn towards males of no purpose nor worth.

Chris Brown is such a douche bag, why the hell is Rihanna interested in him? Douche Law.

by 1410 December 23, 2011

Douche Dormer

When you meet someone who is normal but goes from 0 to 100 on the douchebaggery scale when hanging out with another douche. Their douchiness is added on to an existing douche structure creating a whole new level of douchiness.

"Ted was fine until that douche yacht Tim came along, now Ted is just a douche dormer."

by Dillbox August 3, 2016