meat beat manifesto

A manifesto written by a man who's been in seclusion for so long he feels the need to keep a log tracking how many times he masturbates per day.

"The man had been living in a cabin deep in the Appalachian mtns for years by himself. After his passing local hikers were intrigued to find his secluded cabin.Inside they were surprised and excited to find his animal skins, man made tools , a hammock,and his meat beat manifesto."

by JSmith lu 43 April 6, 2017

Beat the meat

Someone playing with a guy's dick

It feels really good when I beat the meat.

by I am the GOAT!!!!! June 22, 2017

Beat Up Meat Curtains

A vagina with abnormally loose labia; displeasing to the eyes; unwanted.

I was going to sleep with Jessica, but ol' girl had some beat up meat curtains. (This is usually followed by a frown, or if you are typing, use :\ or ;( to show dissatisfaction with said vagina.)

by Zachariah Non Prolificus June 17, 2008

Beat the Meat

After a man has had oral sex and shot his load, he then beats his cock on the woman's face to make sure all the cum has been unloaded.

He shot his load then proceded to beat the meat until every last drop was on her face.

by <insert> October 2, 2004

Coconut Meat Beat

Everyone knows the inside of a coconut is called the meat right? Well while driving along and you just so happen to notice a white Car/ Truck/ Van/Jeep or whatever. You yell " Coconut Meat Beat" at the top of your lungs and aggressively Punch anyone near you in the shoulder. Make sure the victum of the "Coconut Meat Beat" saw the car or it doesnt count and the victum gets a free "Beat". Yes, I know there are many white cars around, but thats what makes it fun!

Coconut Meat Beat

(Howard Saw a white car)

Howard- " Cocnut Meat Beat" (Aggressively punches Frank)
Frank- "DAMNIT" I will get you next time!

by Henry Sr. Walter July 13, 2010

beat the meat itis

Condition diagnosis by obsessively beating the living life out ur meat till no cum is possible to make left shameless & confused long run.

“Doctor sandals i haven’t been feeling too well “ welp let me tell u u have came down on beat the meat itis

by Ovojackfrost March 6, 2022

Beat your meat December

Beat your meat december is a prequel to No nut november, where all the men in america buy any meat they would like and slap it every day for until the last day of december.

Which then they take it and burry it in the ground with a dollar.

Urban legends claim that if you completed beat your meat december the animal's soul will gift you with a tree of money in place of the location you burried the meat.

which is where the famous word "money doesn't grow on trees" came,

from the british army that didn't believe in this old myth and burned every meat that was beat at the december.

Some say it was because of how they liked only tea and really horrible cookies at the time.

But I think that their meats were just not long enough, which is nothing to be ashamed of! If your meat is short that's fine.

It just depends on how you slap it! That's all that matters.

And remember! It's all about beating your meat with your family, which is what beat your meat december is all about!

Hey man/woman I just finished beat your meat december

I bet you didn't last 6 days at beat your meat december!

Wow, beating your meat for so long must be such hard work! (Says my crush lovingly) Wow! Will you marry me? (She says) YES! (I say) and then we go tl my house so she can beat my meat and help me burry it in the ground.

by ThetruthMYtruth April 22, 2022