heavy nuts retardo

The definition of a teenager (most likely a guy) who does nothing but eat hella food, vape an eciggarete or smoke cigs, and sleep. This teenager does not shower and loves attention.

This is also the definition of anyone who doesn't shower and is funny as fuck for no real reason. You just laugh whenever they're around but not at their expense. Like a mentally handicapped kid.

Man this heavy nuts retardo was sleeping in my closet for three weeks. Glad I found him there before my closet reaked of ballsweat and cigs.

"Man this heavy nuts retardo came over and we laughed for hours for no reason. We ain't even smoked weed or nothin."

Is that a fucking fat joke?

by lolwhatsupmom July 9, 2014

redbox and return

When you Netflix and Chilled but you broke up the next day; such as a one night stand for one dollar ( not to be confused with prostitution)

I thought we would get to Hulu and Commitment but she was more of a Redbox and Return kind of girl.

by TheJokeThatIsMyLife June 12, 2016

Assholian Noncerino Retardus

One day, in ancient Rome, a man was named this. He was bullied endlessly and decided it was time to change his name, so he did. There was suddenly a mass depression as Rome was devastated that they couldn't call him any names, so he changed his name back. His name is now immortalized.

"Stop being such an Assholian Noncerino Retardus. Shape up."

by Common Millenial May 31, 2018

Yeet'n'retreat

When you just finna hit that fat YEET on someone and then run away as fast as possible.

Bro i just yeet'n'retreated that guy at the bar yesterday

by Adjoint May 23, 2018

Pint of no return

The point while eating a pint of ice cream after which the only reasonable course of action is to finish the entire pint of ice cream and feel like a pig rather than putting the remaining ice cream back in the freezer

Susan had only wanted to eat a single serving of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream with her late-night Gilmore Girls marathon, but unable to stop herself, she soon crossed the pint of no return.

by Atticus_21 June 13, 2018

super-size returnable-container swindle

Refers to the pathetically-selfish practice of a miser’s offering a naïve fellow human one or more huge trash bags full of returnable containers as payment for his running one or more errands and/or performing some task around the shyster’s house or property, only for the hapless workman to later discover that the bags merely contain a comparatively few very large (i.e., gallon and/or 2-/3-liter) plastic containers, rather than the logically-expected “haul” of many dozens of ordinary-sized glass/plastic drink-bottles and aluminum beverage-cans; he is thus being paid only a small fraction of the “apparent reimbursement” that the gigantic bulging bags had “implied”.

I always insist on either “counting through” bags of bottles/cans before accepting them as payment for something, or having clear-plastic sacks be used to bag up the returnables, so that I can actually see the size/type/number of the containers inside the bags, and thus be more sure of getting the approximate reimbursement that I’ve been led to believe I’d be receiving as my end of the deal... there are waaaay too many advantage-takers out there who are eager to try to pull the ol' "super-size returnable-container swindle" on people like me.

by QuacksO September 9, 2018

astronomical-cost retort

Refers to the mildly-indignant answer that you snortingly "toss back" at a seemingly-impertinent clueless who naively asks why you don't "just buy your way out" of a moderately-inconvenient/difficult/unpleasant situation, his not being familiar with the enormous financial outlay that said "easy-solution" choice/action would entail.

Two typical/everyday examples of an astronomical-cost retort would be with regards to having a garage come and pick up your presently-non-drivable vehicle instead of having a friend help you tow/push it the few miles to the garage with another vehicle ("Yeah, **sure** I could --- for a nice HUNDRED-BUCKS TOWING-CHARGE!"), or if you presently have to turn your well-pump on and off manually because it's "on its last legs" and so you always have to be "right there and ready" to quickly turn the pump back off to avoid damage if it doesn't immediately start up when you power it on ("Oh, yeah --- new pumps are indeed available --- you got an extra THOUSAND BUCKS OR MORE JUSS LAYIN' AROUND to get one installed??!"). Never fails to shut the impudent inquisitor right up!

by QuacksO October 26, 2018