flop wank

masturbating with a flaccid penis

He couldn't get it up, so he had a flop wank and hoped for the best.

by Ryem May 2, 2016

passive wank

A passive wank or passivewank (verb) is the action of masturbating whilst also partaking in a specifically intellectual activity, so much so that the act of masturbating becomes an afterthought

"Matt! Why are you passive wanking?! We're trying to do surgery here!"

by spoons2424 January 12, 2017

Diamond Wank

A prolonged wanking experience in which legs are placed into a diamond position. Invented by Diamond Dave

I’m off for a diamond wank

by Rourkenator November 12, 2021

wank paddock

truck stop

the wank paddock was full of trucks with the curtains closed.
in the middle of the day.

by decembeard December 10, 2012

shank wank

The act of masturbating with one hand while making a 'shanking' motion with the other, knife-filled, hand.

I'm gonna have me a shank wank!

by efildrot September 24, 2013

Dangerous wank

The act of sending ones housemate out to Tesco's to buy chocolate, muffins and wine in order to masturbate, naked in the middle of the living room, hoping that you can finish and redress yourself before they return home.

Margaret: What did you get up to last night?

Glynis: I had a dangerous wank whilst Brian popped to the shop for a pint of milk and some fishermans friends.

Margaret: Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Glynis: Yes, it was delightful.

by slapyourstick October 14, 2011

teary wank

As the name implies, having a little cry while self-pleasuring.

He was sad and alone so he had a teary wank.

by sadselfpleasure June 14, 2011