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Bible

The Bible is a book where you find all the religious events that have happened in the past. Some of the stories have proven to be true. Some objects from it were found and some prophecies happened or still happening. For example, in the Book of Revelations is written so many things that are happening right now. For all the atheists, just please stop making fun of christians since we literally haven't done anything wrong, we just belive in something else (if a "christian" did something wrong or forced you into his beliefs, then he has personal problems, that dosent apply to normal christian people, we are humans aswell even if we belive in something you don't). I know the bible might seem dark, but if you open your eyes thats the truth, thats the world we live in because of the sin in it, and the emptiness people have, and can't fill. The Bible is mostly misunderstood by people because they don't actually spend enough time trying to understand and take it as a joke, which makes it impossible to understand. But the small definition of the Bible is "the truth".
Normal human being: What's a bible?
Christian/anyone that knows anything about the bible: The book of truth
Normal human being: Why do you think is the truth?
Christian/whatever: Because everything in it is happening right now.
by weird guy everyone hates October 9, 2021
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Except for the Bible

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT!?
Hym "CAN YOU BELIEVE HE JUST FUCKING SAID THAT!? 'Be careful what you read... EXCEPT FOR THE BIBLE!?' BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH!!! PFFFTTSSSEECGH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT!? AND SHE JUST ROLLS HER EYES AT HIM! OOOOOOH MY NON-EXISTENT JEW-GOD! THAT IS PRICELESS! It's like something you would hear in a 'God is not dead' movie! It's like they hired the 'God is not dead' guy to write their responses! Seriously! Get this guy out of here! There is something WRONG with these fucking people! That is why a Christian pastor is shooting your fucking senators! You need to not be too stupid to do something about that! And I know it's hard for you because you are exactly THAT stupid but really you need to get with the program. They will get you all killed. If 'THAT' IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING... You need to make an executive decision and save yourselves."
by Hym Iam June 18, 2025
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Bibled

The ejaculation into a book originating from a Bible.
Ryan Bibled his maths book last night.
by stan_2019 March 10, 2022
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The Vocal Bible

Brandy has an incredible catalogue filled with many glorious vocal moments that other singers have been attempting to duplicate for years. … And while her distinct tone is always a focal point, it’s the way she doubles her voice in the studio to create a new vocal style that is all her own.
Did you hear those stacks? Nobody layers vocals like Brandy. Some of the best I’ve heard in the music business…that woman is the vocal bible!
by Rhye Hicks July 8, 2023
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Bible

by T_T Kill_meNow June 11, 2022
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bible

used to describe a sincere appreciation and liking towards something - to the point of trusting and following it.
Oh boy, ngl that burger was kinda bible!
by long orange April 22, 2025
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the bible

People who’ve made definitions of the Bible, make fun of it, make it sexual, or call it fictional.

Now the question is how would you feel if something or someone you loved kept being called a stupid slut/pervert who doesn’t even say anything true over and over for generations?

Most of you would say well I don’t care, but I want you to know that when you make fun of the Bible and God you are only making Jesus come back faster.

You may despise the Christian religion and believe that they are just a bunch of idiots who listen to an idiot bible and God. But that doesn’t give you the ability to change the truth. You can believe what you believe but you cannot change the truth. So the best definition of the Bible comes from the Bible itself: “The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 Also the Bible says “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” The Bible is a bunch of revolutionary stories, testimonies, poems, and songs all collected into one powerful book.
The world: “the Bible is trash none of it makes any sense whatsoever”

God: “you don’t make sense whatsoever…I give you everything and still you mock me:(“

The world: “whatever suck it up

God: “that’s it here you go” *gives Jesus*

The world: “AHHHHH MERCY ON US PLEASE”
by wuhululu September 3, 2024
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