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porn monkey

A person that is obsessed with porn, they watch it all the time, think about it constantly and refer everything to porn (also see: Porn Addict)
Vachan is a porn monkey, porn is all he thinks about
by Jaime Potluri April 30, 2005
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monkey bubble

A small bump, generally on the top of the forearm caused by the muscle swelling from being hit. Can be given by a friend, or happen when you slam your arm into a door knob at full blast. Usually hurt, and only last for a few seconds.
I gave Jack a monkey bubble by punching him on the top of his forearm.
by cronix April 29, 2004
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Taser Monkey

A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?

Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.

Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.

Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!

Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
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Monkey Twirl

When a woman is giving you a blow job and at the same time rubs both hands on each side off your penis in a twisting and twirling fashion.
I thought my cock was going to fall off after that Monkey Twirl I got last night.
by NoLuck December 3, 2009
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Cradle Monkey

Cradling your significant other's hefty ball sacks in the cup of your hand, taking pressure off the penal area known as the perineum.
Hey dude?
YEah man...
Your balls look tired
Yeah i had a rough day
Weellllllll i mean ill cradle monkey them for a little bit so they can relieve circulation.....i mean if thats okay..
.........ummmm sure.....is that gay?
No man not at all........let me do it
by HPFBanana Hammock March 31, 2011
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tech monkeys

All the wonderful tech people who perform fix-it miracles with web based platforms or IT hardware.
John: WTF? Twitter is down again!

Jim: I'm sure the Twitter tech monkeys will have it fixed it no time.
by LittleNano April 7, 2011
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PAPER MONKEY

Someone who has a desk job doing paperwork.
Boss: Kathryn what are you doing?

Kathryn: I'za doin my werk like a good Paper Monkey!

Guy on a first date: So what do you do for a living?

Girl: I work at a car dealership, processing loan applications.

Guy: Ohh! Your a Paper Monkey!
by RedRibbonSword October 19, 2010
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