orphan crushing machine

A theoretical device referenced when someone performs an act of generosity of kindness that is only possible because a horrible system has been normalized. Usually seen in "feel good" stories in the news where a child sells a collection so they can afford cancer treatment or a military veteran receives a prosthesis because of a GoFundMe.

Local man saves 500 orphans from the orphan crushing machine!

That's great news! Wait... why is there a machine that crushes orphans?

orphan crushing machine by v022 December 5, 2025

Texan Skull Crushing 

When 3 or more nice looking women face sit one dude at once typically the result of a bet. Either that or the dude is restrained or blindfolded.

Dude 1: I had no idea your two sisters and your girlfriend stuck with bets that strictly!
Dude 2: Oh?
Dude 1: Yeah! I never realized how akward Texan Skull Crushing is!
Dude 2: YOU BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE BOY!
Alternate context:
Dude: What where am I? I can't move or see!
Sister 1: Take the blindfold off of him!
Dude: Why are you naked exactly!?
Sister 2: have you ever heard of Texan Skull Crushing?
GF: Hope you like the booty

Texan Skull Crushing by Nman1103 September 27, 2017

Munchin and Crunchin 

Munchin and crunchin, also known as meat riding, aka cock riding, penis sucking,
When somebody doesn’t know what’s going on and they put their 2 cents in and end up being wrong.

“Yo bro I ain’t gone lie, you Munchin and Crunchin od, like you sound mad retarted”

Munchin and Crunchin by Dime$ October 29, 2020

Munchin and Crunchin 

Munchin and Crunchin (Aka), meat sucking, cock Munchin, throat Goating, when somebody puts their 2cents in a situation and end up being wrong.

“I’m not gone lie, you really Munchin and Crunchin right now, cause my nigga you sound fuckin dumb, look at you feelin fuckin STUPID”

Munchin and Crunchin by Dime$ October 29, 2020

Third party crushing 

When his balls are under his leg and his partner tries to climb over him but slips and lands their leg on top go his, crushing his balls.

I was trying to shimmy over my man last night but slipped and gave him a third party crushing.

Third party crushing by Sir_Rutto October 31, 2020

Out of Couching 

Ending an extended period of vegetation.

“Janice, I havent seen you for days! You seem tired, where have you been?”

“I was coolin’ at my house, I just got out of couching.”

Out of Couching by Steve Blends May 5, 2022

The Acri Is Crushing My Left Eye For Psychiatry 

The Acri Is Crushing My Left Eye For Psychiatry

The Acri Is Crushing My Left Eye For Psychiatry

The Acri Is Crushing My Left Eye For Psychiatry by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e March 26, 2025