Houdini Turd

When your sitting on the toilet for atleast 20 minutes and it feels as if the biggest turd has came out of your rectum; when you get up to wipe there's nothing in the bowl.

After twenty minutes of sitting on the crapper Johnny got up to whip and comes to find nothing there but a Houdini Turd.

by Lueckmans November 8, 2009

Speed Turd

A small speed bump that you don't have to slow down for.

Driver: Speeding, going 55 in a 25.

Passenger: yells slow down, watch out for that speed bump!

Driver: hits it going full speed then says"Oh thats just a speed turd"

by CJ Stuntin March 30, 2010

Mouth Turd

When an intoxicated individual consumes too much food, and then begins to secrete a turd-like substance out the mouth, resulting in a turd shaped vomit. It is often found leaving serious skid marks

It was Chris' mouth turd. Looks like an orange shit.

by bighorse123 February 26, 2011

Compass turd

A compass turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.

The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward turd

by fullyregressed January 15, 2014

Sonic Turd

(Adjective) A piece of music, song or album of such low quality that one's ear-drums have an experience similar to being shit upon, leading to the listener feeling violated, disappointed or filthy for having even been subjected to it.

Coldplay's new album 'Ghost Stories' is a sonic turd of awful proportions.

by Word Smith McGee May 23, 2014

service turd

a waiter, waitress, or other retail worker who has a bad attitude or bad service.

My waitress at Olive Garden last night was a service turd. she took my menu before I had ordered!

by professionalpotato June 7, 2016

shiny turd

When taking someone rough around the edges and making them look and act better, but still has a hint of stank.

Boy oh boy, look at Ryan now. From where he was last year to now? That's one shiny turd!

by Mackb4 March 12, 2017