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Catholicism

Apparently predates Christianity by 200 years and was started by Alexander the Great. History is fun.
Iam “Another interesting thing about Catholicism is that the word means ‘Universal.’ Very interesting... 🤔 Hmm... Now that I think of it ‘Islam’ means ‘Submission.’ Interesting indeed... Huh, you know, The root word of ‘Judaism’ is ‘Judah’ (The fourth son)... and ‘Judah’ means ‘The Praised One.’ 🤔 Hmm... Universal... Submission... The Praised One... Why does that sound funny? Universal... Submission... The Praised One... Universal. Submission. The Praised One. Universal Submission to The Praised One. Oh! There it is! It’s a universalized submission ethic that subordinates everyone to ‘the Praised one’ or ‘Ones’ for that matter. Huh... Funny how that works... That’s the what ‘we’re all praying to the same God’ means... That’s what ‘There is no difference between imitation and worship’ means...“
by Hym Iam November 11, 2022
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Catholic Mom

Things You Should Never Say To a Catholic Mom:

1. I'm sure your son will want to play with my Catholic toys.

Why it's offensive: Because your own little boy may never be Catholic, so you wouldn't understand. You don't know our secret, so don't even attempt to claim that you know our boys' favorite toys!

2. My kid is becoming more Catholic every day!

Why it's offensive: My child is not "becoming Catholic." Only Mother Theresa or Mother Teresa could speak to my child on a personal level.

3. Would you like to see the priest today?

Why it's offensive: Why would I want to see a priest? My Catholic faith is personal, and my son is not ready to go around asking people to make promises they can't keep. He is more concerned with driving cars, playing with animals, or his chicken.

4. My daughter is becoming more Catholic every day!

Why it's offensive: Because she is not. She is just my daughter. It is highly offensive to suggest that she is "becoming Catholic" because you don't know our secret.

5. My child does not understand Catholic prayers.

Why it's offensive: Do you understand what the F-word means? Do you know how to use a bedpan? Do you speak to your toddler like that?
6. I don't know why people are so judgmental.

Why it's offensive: Because you've never heard me getting on the phone with the delivery guy at Dominick's for 10 minutes because our cat didn't get her salad order right. It's called Motherhood, folks!

7. My son's Catholic school is making him go to mass.

Why it's offensive: Because your son's Catholic school is making you get him out of bed in the morning, make him go to mass, force him to participate in the sacraments, and make him listen to anything other than rap or country music for four hours.

8. I can't believe you'd let your kid go to that Catholic school!

Why it's offensive: You're not going to stop your child from going to public school, so why are you so concerned with mine?

9. My child is coming home with art projects. You know, the kind of stuff a nun wouldn't appreciate.

Why it's offensive: Because you're assuming that all art projects made by little boys are rough, violent, and inappropriately sexual. You know nothing about art, you fruitcake.

10. I'm not Catholic, so I don't need to send my child to Catholic school.

Why it's offensive: You're not Catholic, either! So how dare you criticize my choices? Who do you think you are?

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(This article was originally published at Catholic Mom.)
by Drapen November 19, 2022
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catholic surprise

A Catholic may tell you they're waiting to have sex until marriage, but she might surprise you with an alternative route. One that involves taking the dirt road home. See "anal"
"I didn't think I was going to get anywhere with Anna, but then she had me give her a Catholic surprise!"
by sexybeast.blue.black December 26, 2022
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Catholic celebrity culture vulture

One who angles for friendships or chumming with a Catholic celebrity for the name dropping clout. They make friends with people considered "celebrities" in Catholic circles in order to become well known themselves.
When that new author came into town, the poor guy was surrounded by Catholic celebrity culture vultures trying to be his new best friend.
by LizzY23 April 23, 2023
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catholic converter

The act of praising the converter so much that you won't let the muffler guys have it and ask for it back.
Hey you know I want my Catholic converters back, right?
by Dickskabob August 10, 2023
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Catholic Social Doctrine

"Catholic is as sane as people get" ~ The Guy who had a pretty substantial mental breakdown before his death. Aron Ra one called Catholics "Mary-Worshiping Pagans" and I'd expound on that to say "Mary-Worshiping pagans who have afforded themselves and infinite number of cosmic mulligans yet afford 0 to everyone else."
Hym "So, what you can expect to get from anyone promoted by Jordan Peterson is someone who promotes a Catholic Social Doctrine. Or, for the layman, being ruled by Catholicism... Regardless of whether or not you're a Catholic... And if you don't accept his ethos... Your life CAN'T have any meaning... Because his ethos IS THE THING GIVES LIFE MEANING. You see how you have to assume his ethos ad hoc for his ethos to work? Which is why I told you all a while ago: Never vote for anyone that Jordan Peterson promotes. Or anyone who associates with him. Actively vote against them!"
by Hym Iam August 17, 2023
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Catholic Foster Homes

So the Catholics... Where DENYING Lgbtq parents... EXPLICITLY for being lgbt (You can veil it in rhetoric by saying "Because kids deserve a mother and a father" but it's literally the same thing it's literally ) And that was fine... But now what they did do the gays is being done to them... And YOU KNOW the Catholics shouldn't be discriminating against them in the first place...
Hym "Getting rid of the catholic foster homes doesn't seem fair to me... BUT you KNOW that they will NOT ONLY refuse to be fair towards people who don't share their world view... But will never be amenable to reason. And now to hoist them by their petard seems like it's unfair to the kids... But how WILL Lgbt kids be treated by the catholic parents? This shouldn't need to be the case. From EITHER of them. One of them is far more tolerant than the other. He wants to frame it AS the Catholics being hiisted by their own petard (and on some level they ARE, in fact, being that) but what REASON is better to deny would-be parents access to foster kids? One of the parents being the wrong gender or how the parents are likely to treat the kids?"
by Hym Iam August 18, 2023
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