beard shmear

The act of eating a girl out and she queefs out vaginal discharge (possibly solidified) and you proceed to dry off her vagina with your beard.

"What's that smell?"

"Last night I beard shmeared this fat bitch and I haven't washed it yet....I can taste it.."

by Fat Susie February 24, 2014

under-beard

The ungroomed pubic hair of a man. See also "noseless under-beard."

Paul was swimming when his suit was pulled down, revealing to all of us his barbaric under-beard.

by DIRob August 14, 2010

rainbow beard

When a man's facial hair grows in patches of different colors.

Jeff's has a blonde mustache, black neckbeard, and red patches near his chin. He's got epic rainbow beard going on.

by Jackerman90 November 29, 2009

gnome’s beard

An unkempt clutch of bushy, grey, knee-length pubic hair usually found on frosty old blue hairs.

Bridget better shave that gnome’s beard before swimsuit season!

by El Jefé March 22, 2019

Beard packing

The act of carefully packing ones excessively long facial hair into ones anus.

I did not eat that strippers ass. What you were smelling is just some light beard packing.

by Rellov January 17, 2017

Retirement Beard

A bead grown soon after retirement

I'm quitting my job and growing a retirement beard just like David Letterman.

by Stylecouncler September 17, 2018

provider beard

Facial hair worn by pussified, emasculated cucks who have sacrificed their testicles, wallets and pride to domineering female spouses or significant others in exchange for sex and social acceptance.

Similar in look to the ever popular dad beard, men who sport a provider beard often have one or more of the following traits: a side-parted preppy hairstyle, SJW approved eyeglasses (for the visually impaired) J. Crew polo shirts, Nantucket shorts, Sperry Top-Siders and an aura of feigned happiness.

Hey, who is the bearded guy driving the soccer mom SUV? Oh, that’s just your cousin. His provider beard is all that remains of his manhood after his wife made him have a vasectomy.

by DJtadd May 21, 2021