caveman television

a campfire

Last night we all sat around the camp and watched caveman television

by Juniper Woods July 21, 2009

telkom

1)The only telephone company in South Africa, its an inefficient
para-statal, complete rip-off, and as a company doesn't
actually care.

2)Also used in IT as a synonym for a cock up or an
unserviceable task.

1)Why have you not checked your email in 3 months?
I applied two months ago, getting leet 512Kbps ADSL
the mainstay of broadband speed! (from Telkom naturally,
as there is no competition).

2)I've got to de-telkom someone elses source code!

They just telkommed our network in it's moer with that
backup.

by Mush September 1, 2008

Tell him where to go

Euphemism. If you tell somebody where to go, you basically tell them to fuck off.

Person 1: That guy won't stop yelling at me. He really annoys me,

Person 2: Tell him where to go, then.



Person 1: You can't barter with these people. If you ask for a lower price, they'll tell you where to go.

by MichaelToTheJ August 1, 2008

show-n-tell

When scumbags who ride the Baltimore MTA decide to show off their hardward; exchanging guns in an attempt to intimidate the other passengers. The participants will often eye-up the other passengers while smiling and sneering at them with the occasional, "what the fuck you look'n at motherfucker"

I was so scared after show-n-tell, that I had to go piss behind the woods in the parking lot after I got of the train.

by Mr. Asshole March 23, 2007

why are you telling me this

What one says or thinks when another person tells them something that
1. Has nothing to do with the person being told something
2. The person being told something does not want to hear what they are being told

Girl: OMG i went to a Panic at the Disco concert last night! it was sooo freakin cool!
Guy: Why are you telling me this?

Girl: I have a huge crush on your friend!
Guy who likes Girl: Why are you telling me this?

by Seth Kraeder February 10, 2009

i tell you what

A phrase commonly used by people in the South. Can be used in the beginning or end of a sentence. Common to Texans, it is used as a whole sentence, with nothing before or after it.

Bill Engvall talking about Texans: "Man, I tell you what."
"What?"
"I told you."

by Nicolee March 14, 2012

telemarketer

The telephone equivalent of spam.

The worst kind of salesman in the universe.

Traits: Officious, sometimes bullshittingly "polite" pricks who will recall your number over and over when they aren't scamming other random phone numbers.

How to deal with them: Shoot em up! ...er, i meant

How to really deal with them: Whenever one of these calls you, immediately i.d. which category it falls into:

Survey
Unwanted service
Donation scam
Subcription for 40 months of shitty magazines you dont need

Now the fun part. Keep acting like youre interested in whatever theyre offering. Thank them for every last excruciating detail they throw at you at hyper-machine gun speed so they have trouble concentrating trying to sucker you into their shit. Prolong everything. Ask questions about everything they say (be sure to sound as happy as can be, and as interested as a masochist in hell). Then, when the inevitable closing deal part of the conversation comes, your choices are:

Hang-up
"Fuck youz" + Hang-up
"Go fuck yourself"
"Get a real job"
"U r SuxOr"
"-random soundeffect-"
"i did your mom"

Be creative. Let your imagination take over in getting back at these asses. Peace`=)

Notorious telemarketers = Orange County Register, Phone survey groups, Magazine subscribers

All mentioned above, kiss my ass

by Ranger Elite July 21, 2008