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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

When it happens passively, the Universe is picking on you.
When it happens actively, the unfortunate person is fixing their karma.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a cosmic piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a conmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
by TaoistCat October 4, 2020
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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

In most cases when an inordinate number of misfortunes occur seemingly as a 'string of bad luck,' the universe is most likely picking on you.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a Cosmic Piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a Cosmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
Girl 2: God I hate being a Cosmic Piñata! What did I do to deserve this!?
by KenshoMo October 17, 2020
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Related Words

picando piña

It is a vulgar term for when someone is playing with their dick.
ralo a Mogollon, está picando piña!
by Sandilands December 16, 2020
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Viking Piñata Funeral

A funeral process where a person’s cremated remains are set out to sea on a ship that is then lit on fire via fire arrows that are shot from the shore, then, the funeral attendees equip diving gear and collect the ashes, whoever gets the most wins the person’s will
“We had a Viking Piñata Funeral for Tyler last Saturday, he will be missed”
by Raccski April 10, 2021
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Waluigi Pinball

mortals are not mean to comprehend perfection, that being Waluigi pinball
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flesh piñata

The act of suspending oneself from from an elevated object to ensure imminent demise.
After my uncle hung himeself, he became a flesh piñata so I beat him with a stick.
by Gumbi777 September 11, 2021
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Mexican Pinball

The phenomenon which occurs when a crew of painters drive their communal abode late on a Friday night after consuming a case of Modelo and a fifty of cocaine, usually done while flagrantly speeding and/or being totally oblivious to other mechanisms of traffic management in the continental United States, such as STOP/Yield/No U-turn signs etc.. Points are earned by bouncing off legally parked cars in residential areas, avoiding damage to real estate, young children, pets etc...
Goddammit looks like Rodrigo and his boys were playing Mexican Pinball last night. Gotta make another fucking insurance claim. This is why we can't haved nice shit in Kansas City, Kansas.
by Doctor Deez Nutz December 5, 2021
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