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M&M Duels

Whenever I get a package of plain M&M's, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I make them have M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my forefinger and thumb, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the 'loser' and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner get to go to the next round.

I have found that, in general, brown and red M&Ms are tougher, while the blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense ring of competition and cracks under the pressure of being in the modern candy and snack food world.

Occasionally I will come across a mutation, a candy that is mishapen, pointier or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this seems to be a weakness but on very rare occassions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the candy continues to adapt in it's enviroment.

When I finish the package, I am left with one M&M. The strongest of the herd. Since it wouldn't make any sense to eat this one as well, I package it up with a letter that says "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes" and send it back to
M&M Mars, A division of Mars INC in Hackettstown, NJ

They wrote back this week thanking me and gve me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of M&MS.

This weekend there will be a tournament of epic protortions.

There can only be one champion.
Tara: "What the hell are you doing, Kaele?"
Kaele: "M&M Duels of course!"
Tara: "... Can I watch??"
Kaele: >:D
by ObbyKaele March 19, 2009
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Trust Me, I know what I'm doing

A phrase often usd by people who don't really know what they're doing.

This catch phrase was often used by the 80's TV cop Sledge Hammer right before he does something that results in some sort of catastrophic event or disaster.
Captain Trunk: Sledge, you cannot disarm that nuclear bomb!

Sledge Hammer: Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

(A nuclear explosion ensues thus ending the season finale of Sledge Hammer)
by d_art July 10, 2005
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Related Words
M Diddy M.D.I.B M.Dhanush m dog M D lounge M'Dad M dawg m'dear m'dick m-dizzle

I’m down

That you are ready to do it . you’re up for the event .You’re available
Amie: do you wanna go to the pizza party after school

Sydney: Yeah, I’m down
by Pyt.emiii September 12, 2019
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m'dude

A colloquial pronoun used in place of "my man. " Can also be used almost interchangeably with "dude." Example: "Well m'dude, is it time to bounce or what?"
"Thanks for taking me to the airport."

"No problem m'dude! "
by MangoSlango April 15, 2017
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I'm Diamonds

To have an erection, using a simile comparing a penis to a diamond in hardness
"I'm diamonds right now baby.""Yum"
by ArbysDeli April 4, 2016
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I’m ded

Tom: Haha Lol XD I’m ded lol xD hahahaha
Wife: Please stop our child has just died and Timmy said he’s a furry please stop laughing

Tom: NEVER PUNY HUMAN XD IM SO DED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
by That time you peed on me June 20, 2019
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Chase a bag, Don’t worry ‘bout what I’m doin’

From the song Dead locs by Blueface. To tell someone to mind their business and focus on other things than what you’re doing
Melanie: “ where are you going!?!”
Daniel : “ Chase a bag, don’t worry ‘bout what I’m doin’ “
by Lollii.x January 4, 2019
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