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How Christians Read the Bible

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.
Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."
by Hym Iam June 14, 2024
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Bible

One of the ways our government delegates population control. There are many banned books on "discipline" in reality they're ways to abuse the shit out of your children but even if the parents figure it out there is always one book that never leaves: "the-Bible."
Jimmy is so screwed up he can't have children because of his dysfunctional upbringing in the Bible and other banned books on abusing kids with "structured discipline".
by Dixie's finest November 22, 2022
mugGet the Biblemug.

Bible Rock

A type of music genre not to be confused with that famous mountain in Sri Lanka. While some Lyrics and other musical elements of The "Bible Rock" Music Genre embrace similar structure as Gospel Music, aka, Gospel Music, it finds a unique place in modern music society as interwoven," Biblical Story Telling", laced with The "Progressive Testament" to The "Human Condition". "Bible Rock" qualifies as religious cultural evolutionary expression, rather than merely a genre held as a method of preserving posterity. Bible Rock tends to differentiate from this fixated stream of thinking because it carries ritual and traverses time through mythological and through legendary epochs of human history as it contains a consistent interpretation pertinent to a "New Age". The "Bible Rock" Music Genre is embracing flexibility within all ethnic barriers and is universal with respect to those various influences.
The traditional song entitled "Motherless Child" became transformed as a "Bible Rock" Song as it endures since antiquity, being furtherd, translated, and transcribed by Musicians and Singer Songwriters.
by Giordano Bodhi April 2, 2021
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Bible

Codeword for Marijuana. Very similar to words like dro, Mary j, ganja, good green god, grass, etc.
Bitch - “Yo Hemskii you got any Bible left?”
Hemskii - “Nah I finished that shit off with your little sister bitch.”
Bitch - “Ahhhh shit! Now I gotta rob another gas station.”
by Jt Smoov January 4, 2021
mugGet the Biblemug.

Bible Bopper

Someone who picks out parts of the bible they like and dont like
You: I hate Jessica she is such a bible bopper! She hates gays but she wears jeans!
by Centennial August 15, 2015
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The Bible

Ironically, an atheist's most powerful weapon.
"The Bible, when read as it is, is the most potent tool to reinforce atheism."
by Ubeenbamboozledson May 27, 2024
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BIBLE

1. Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
2. Book Interpreting Black Label Etiquette
3. Beast Inside Babylon's Loving Estuary
4. Basically an ancient book of chapters written in clues and riddles throughout, about God trusting a man and woman to manage and magnify his source of life, only to be disappointed by them getting naked, fucked and lazy instead. God throws them out of his garden paradise and they go on to create sin after sin with their own minds understanding, which repeatedly destroys their world.
5. A book of musical arrangement in theory.
6. The ancient Serpent, that old Devil and Satan; great red dragon; false prophet.
7. A book of spells, brainwashing, black Magick, recipes, vibrational influence/patterns, closure.
8. The pale horse named Death and Hell following.
The BIBLE is such a tricky and confusing novel about life after damnation and abandonment from God, when in reality the BIBLE is resounding the outcome resulting from people not practicing musical talents in every day living.
by DeepThrowWitDancer March 16, 2022
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