People who’ve made definitions of the Bible, make fun of it, make it sexual, or call it fictional.
Now the question is how would you feel if something or someone you loved kept being called a stupid slut/pervert who doesn’t even say anything true over and over for generations?
Most of you would say well I don’t care, but I want you to know that when you make fun of the Bible and God you are only making Jesus come back faster.
You may despise the Christian religion and believe that they are just a bunch of idiots who listen to an idiot bible and God. But that doesn’t give you the ability to change the truth. You can believe what you believe but you cannot change the truth. So the best definition of the Bible comes from the Bible itself: “The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 Also the Bible says “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” The Bible is a bunch of revolutionary stories, testimonies, poems, and songs all collected into one powerful book.
Now the question is how would you feel if something or someone you loved kept being called a stupid slut/pervert who doesn’t even say anything true over and over for generations?
Most of you would say well I don’t care, but I want you to know that when you make fun of the Bible and God you are only making Jesus come back faster.
You may despise the Christian religion and believe that they are just a bunch of idiots who listen to an idiot bible and God. But that doesn’t give you the ability to change the truth. You can believe what you believe but you cannot change the truth. So the best definition of the Bible comes from the Bible itself: “The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 Also the Bible says “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” The Bible is a bunch of revolutionary stories, testimonies, poems, and songs all collected into one powerful book.
The world: “the Bible is trash none of it makes any sense whatsoever”
God: “you don’t make sense whatsoever…I give you everything and still you mock me:(“
The world: “whatever suck it up”
God: “that’s it here you go” *gives Jesus*
The world: “AHHHHH MERCY ON US PLEASE”
God: “you don’t make sense whatsoever…I give you everything and still you mock me:(“
The world: “whatever suck it up”
God: “that’s it here you go” *gives Jesus*
The world: “AHHHHH MERCY ON US PLEASE”
by wuhululu September 3, 2024
Get the the bible mug.The act of holding Paul's dad down and fisting his rectum till he climaxes while his wife Jana watches. Usually followed by the serving of dessert such as pie
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Definition:
The New American Saint Bible is an Iberian-Romance language translation of the Sainted Bible, edited from the year 2021. This version excludes Germanic, Scandinavian, and Anglo-Saxon words, as well as phrasal and irregular verbs. It aims for clarity and accessibility by focusing on a lexicon of Latin and Anglo-Norman roots while remaining faithful to the core message of the Old and New Testaments.
Definition:
The New American Saint Bible is an Iberian-Romance language translation of the Sainted Bible, edited from the year 2021. This version excludes Germanic, Scandinavian, and Anglo-Saxon words, as well as phrasal and irregular verbs. It aims for clarity and accessibility by focusing on a lexicon of Latin and Anglo-Norman roots while remaining faithful to the core message of the Old and New Testaments.
Examples:
• The New American Saint Bible offers a fresh perspective on the scriptures.
• The clarity of the New American Saint Bible is appreciated by numerous people.
• This passage from the New American Saint Bible is easy to comprehend.
• The New American Saint Bible offers a fresh perspective on the scriptures.
• The clarity of the New American Saint Bible is appreciated by numerous people.
• This passage from the New American Saint Bible is easy to comprehend.
by Dmitrio January 7, 2025
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Hym "CAN YOU BELIEVE HE JUST FUCKING SAID THAT!? 'Be careful what you read... EXCEPT FOR THE BIBLE!?' BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH!!! PFFFTTSSSEECGH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT!? AND SHE JUST ROLLS HER EYES AT HIM! OOOOOOH MY NON-EXISTENT JEW-GOD! THAT IS PRICELESS! It's like something you would hear in a 'God is not dead' movie! It's like they hired the 'God is not dead' guy to write their responses! Seriously! Get this guy out of here! There is something WRONG with these fucking people! That is why a Christian pastor is shooting your fucking senators! You need to not be too stupid to do something about that! And I know it's hard for you because you are exactly THAT stupid but really you need to get with the program. They will get you all killed. If 'THAT' IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING... You need to make an executive decision and save yourselves."
by Hym Iam June 18, 2025
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Get the Bible Thumping Trumper mug.1. The person you catch unholy feelings for during Vacation Bible School — usually while swearing you’re “not even looking for anything right now.” You lock eyes across the craft table, or during a group worship song, and suddenly you’re imagining a joint testimony at your future wedding. Charming smile, questionable life choices, walking red flag.
2. A short-lived, overly wholesome-yet-chaotic situationship powered by proximity, youth group energy, and an unhealthy amount of soda from the fellowship hall. Ends with him ghosting you like he just got called on a permanent mission trip to another dimension
2. A short-lived, overly wholesome-yet-chaotic situationship powered by proximity, youth group energy, and an unhealthy amount of soda from the fellowship hall. Ends with him ghosting you like he just got called on a permanent mission trip to another dimension
“I told myself I wasn’t dating this summer… then Octavio, my Bible School Crush, asked if I wanted to sit with him during Bible study and now I can’t listen to ‘Our God Is an Awesome God’ without crying.”
by SeheKeineRotenFlaggen August 13, 2025
Get the Bible School Crush mug.The beginning of the the supreme Benningfield junior supreme bemmimgfield junior when gomightybjis gomightydjis lormightybjis lormightydjis jamightybjis jamightydjis made MUAHLONNBEINGS AND WOMUAHLONNBEINGS now muahlonnbeings was called outforemales and they had beards and dicks and the WOMUAHLONNBEINGS was called Inforemales and they had bejrovbreasts and behinds both came together and they belong together and they was called flesh and relbjalood relbjaleed relbjaleeding then gomightybjis gomightydjis created Animents dejroogur dejrooger bejroogur bejroogar bejroogull and the doubjrag and that was everything then I created glomightybejis and that was the universe's of the GomightyBJis GomightyDJis the supreme benningfield junior supreme bemmimgfield junior and then I rested. By lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.
I invented and made and created and started Sunday schooooBJGUN book Bible. The end of chapter 1 the beginning of Benningfield junior. By lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.
by Lonnie Benningfield juniorshaq October 2, 2025
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