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The 'I have kids' defense

The ultimate trump card. When you're down and out it's the last defense you have against people trying to justify your repositioning in society.
Hym "A prime example of the 'I have kids' defense is KRISTI NOEM. In her interview after it was revealed that she shot her own dog, she DESPERATELY tried to employ this defense before being shoved out of the spotlight. 'I'm a mother! I wanna go upies! Not downies! Nooooooooooo!' Heheheheh... And a more recent example is Andrew Tate's interview after getting out recently. 'I have kids! I'm supposed to be able to do whatever I want! Anything and everything is justifiable when you have kids!' Ha! It's ALWAYS THE CASE! He stole? He had to steal for the kids! Why does policy need to change? The kids? Why did we bomb those kids? The kids of course. But your kids are just you. Nothing changed when you had them. Maybe, socially, you moved into the class of people that other people have to give a shit about by way of extension. That's not real a change though. Your kids = You. Their inflated value exists only in relationship to you. Saying 'MY kids are more important than anything' is no different that saying 'I'm more important than anything.' You. Same thing."
by Hym Iam August 24, 2024
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Roblox Kid

A Roblox Kid is a kid who is addicted to playing a block game and needs a life. They can't get bitches because they stay on their iPad all day trying to get korblox and stitch face.

Starter Kit
- Pal's Hair
- Fake Headless
- Rainbow Cape
- A army of tryhards
- Friends with every oder
- Bitches: 0
- Respect: 5/10
- Oder himself
- Sword
- Ban Hammer
- Bloxy Cola
- Chezzburger
- iPad
Oh James! Did you see that Roblox Kid yesterday!? He was cringy as fuck!

James: I know right!
by popwizard September 5, 2024
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Minecraft Kid

Kids who played Minecraft back when it was super popular, before Tommy "Intuit" Innit sent his British goons out to take over Mojang's HQ. Minecraft kids are usually slightly overweight, pale as hell, wear prescription glasses, and always have the name "Alex," which they practically invented. They are usually found in caves, in-game or real life, trying to find diamonds.
Alex: I love Minecwaft!
Alex: Me too! Let's go mine for some diamonds.
Alex: I nearwy got all of da diamond awmor.
Alex: Me four. I have spare diamonds so we can cwaft them into some diamond awmor.

Alex, 15 years later: I sure was one of them Minecraft kids.
Alex, 15 years later: Me too.
Alex, 15 years later: Me three.
Alex, 15 years later: Me four.
by Eggego September 9, 2024
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Chromebook Kid

A kid who is physically glued to their chromebook and most likely chronically online. They are also usually lunch runners, and also extremely cringe.

Sometimes they will walk up to you and try and shake your hand saying “salutations! can i steal your soul??”

additionally, if the teacher asks the chromebook kid to close their chromebook they will do one of two things: rage out like a cocomelon kid deprived of their ipad, or have a full blown mental breakdown.
Person A: Have you seen that one guy?
Person B: Oh you mean the chromebook kid?
Person A: Yeah……
by skibussy toolet October 1, 2024
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semi-kid

A young teenager (13-15) or preteen (10-12). The word can be spelled without the hyphen and used interchangeably with semi-child
I am a 13-year-old semi-kid.
by the random. October 26, 2024
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gifted kid

someone who procrastinates and leaves projects and test studies for the last minute, but then magically turns on 120% of their brain power to get everything done on time. and, gets away with it because they still manage to get good grades somehow.
guy 1 : oh, look at that gifted kid. he's so smart
guy 2 : he's not really smart. he's just good at studying the last moment
*20 years later*
guy 1 : why is the gifted kid smoking weed?
guy 2 : he couldn't keep up unlike us who actually studied.
by Ahson_ November 21, 2024
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like a fat kid on a donut

1. Informal: A metaphor for being complacent, unmotivated, or resistant to change, especially when one is in a position of comfort or dominance (e.g., a monopoly).
2. Colloquial: Remaining stuck or stagnant, with no incentive to improve or move forward.
"The company hasn’t innovated in years—they’re like a fat kid on a donut, sitting comfortably with no competition."
"Without any real competition in the market, they’re just like a fat kid on a donut, not going anywhere fast."
by FANNO November 21, 2024
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