crank the hog

The most aggressive style of masturbating your chode, resulting from one not getting laid.

Yea boys, sorry I'm late. My girl was being a bitch and told me she flicked her bean earlier...So I had a crank the hog.

by fortsorcrankhog April 2, 2024

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Crank The Hog

Masturbating aggressively, often times in a corporate setting

“I mean hey man, I don’t have a real job so what else am I gonna do other than crank the hog for 2 hours in the bathroom?” - Gebge

by anonymous June 16, 2025

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Crank

To “crank” is mostly used as a synonym to the word “play.” Mostly used for video games or games in general

John: let’s crank some Fortnite
Friend 1: crank? You suck at Fortnite you’re not cranking shit.

John: oh, yeah? That’s not what your mom said.

Friend 2: oooo0000OOOOO

by Maijaluxe December 30, 2023

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Triple jingle crank

A made up term helping innocent girls avoid coming to terms with the fact they just jerked off two guys to failed execution

Chad: Lauren just ski poled us
Mart: yea
Lauren: come sign this flag commemorating our triple jingle crank

All: wtf

by EggieOnAHeggie September 10, 2021

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religious engine-cranking

Onomatopoeia description for the sound of a starter-motor.

When cold-starting a vehicle with a carburetor instead of fuel injection, one should use this religious engine-cranking method:
(1) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor twice. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(2) Crank the engine for one second. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(3) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor two more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine for one second again. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(5) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor three more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine again for several rotations; it should start this time. ("Jesuit-esuit-esuit-esuit-vrOOOOM!!")

by QuacksO September 30, 2020

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