Schrodinger's Fap

An allegory for a terrible porn addiction.
At any given point you are either fapping or not fapping, like your the cat and fapping is the poison.

Paul: "Dude, I can't stop thinking about titties, it feels like at any time im liable to breakdown and masterbate"
Patrick: "well it sounds like your going thru a case of Schrodinger's Fap"

by Founder of Shrodinger's Fap April 29, 2022

spite-fap

Fapping to someone you find morally reprehensible, like Adolph Hitler fapping to Sarah Silverman.

I only watch Fox News to spite-fap to Megyn Kelly.

by Walter Duckface September 12, 2015

freedom fap

The first time you masturbate after leaving a relationship.

Brian had a kickass Freedom Fap after dumping Suzy.

After Clair broke up with Tom, she had a Freedom Fap and went to town with her vibrator

by Pregnant Anne Frank November 2, 2019

The fap-bastard

"The lonely suburban" to masterbate while pooping or just sitting on the toilet.

Dude I ate some bad food yesterday so I had plenty of time on the toilet for the fap-bastard

by Johnny coxvile August 20, 2017

fap leather

The cloth that you use to wipe up the semen after masturbating, the name comes from the cloth becoming stiff like leather from all of the use that it gets.

Person one: Hey Joey! I need to get a new fap leather.
Person two: yeah me to mine feels more like a brick than a cloth.

by MrMaclroy July 17, 2018

Fanta fapping

The art of dismembering ones hand and using it to masturbate

Ian "rick, have you ever tried fanta fapping "?
Rick "no whats that"?

Ian" look it up on urban dictionary"

by Jumont 357 October 19, 2016

pogo fap

The very difficult task of wacking off while on a pogo stick.

Did you hear about Tommy Wommy Womsters? He tried to do a pogo fap and he wiped out and broke several bones. Now the poor guy can't even cuff his carrot.

by Annoying Little Dad April 24, 2023