Jesus Breath

having bad breath after consumption of the body of Christ, Communion, church bread, etc.

I really need a stick of gum, I have some rancid Jesus Breath.

by THEOREOKING December 25, 2009

binge Jesus

When you decide to spend your morning, afternoon, or weekend watching The Chosen. When you look forward to the next episode of The Chosen and what will be revealed to you; Watching The Chosen over and over again because it is such a blessing; knowing you will see something new that you did not see the previous time. Becoming so familiar with The Chosen that reciting their lines becomes a game you play with your friends and family. Sharing The Chosen with every person you know and asking them to share it with every person they know and so on and so on...

I am so excited to binge Jesus today with the watch party we set up. The Chosen is such a great show that I now binge Jesus at least once a week.

by Jesus Super Freak July 25, 2021

Junkyard Jesus

The most epic character from your town. Usually has long hair making them resemble Jesus.

We love you junkyard jesus, make love to me junkyard jesus, please.

You may think he is an every day Joe becuase he works at walmart but the truth is he is Junkyard Jesus.

by lendf8930 May 8, 2011

by da jesus

A Newfoundland saying, often said when one is becoming stressed out or annoyed.

"By da jesus! Dat car almost rear ended me!"

by Marzocchi66 December 3, 2007

Jesus Jitters

A sports reporter's awkward, stammering reaction after a seemingly innocuous question is greeted with a completely unsolicited Bible-Thumping answer: see Erin Andrews' interview with Josh Hamilton at the 2009 MLB All-Star Game or any interview ever with Kurt Warner.

Susie Kolber: Kurt, I see that you are wearing new cleats tonight, any comment?

Kurt Warner: Without the grace of our risen Lord Jesus Christ there would be no cleatts, praise His name.

Susie Kolber: yes...umm...of course...uhhh...back to you Berman!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Jesus Jitters!

by rak5877 July 13, 2009

Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

Jesus-napping

Kidnapping of a Jesus Christ or Baby Jesus figurine from a nativity scene—also defined as Creche-robbing.

An alleged Jesus-napping was reported on New Year's Eve from St. Matthew Roman Catholic Church's nativity scene. The Baby Jesus figurine was reportedly worth $30. Police believe the Creche-robbing occurred between 8 p.m. on Dec. 31 and 10 a.m. Jan. 1.

by PoliceBeat January 23, 2012