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computer 8

Where the gayass sits!
by cstrike December 22, 2004
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computer

A computer is a terrible beast. It secrets vomit, has the ability to rip up a tree in one minute, and has a special tongue to lick it's balls.

Computers are found in many places. They can addict you, and they sometimes look on the internet (a vile network of voodoo telepathy which they use) to find pictures of your friends and family and pretend they're alive even after they are dead.

A computer has several intelligence levels:
PC: As stupid as the user
Super Computer: Unpredictable
Mac: <no intelligence>

A computer often visits sites of pornography so as to participate in virtual sex with another computer. It then blames the creation and visiting of these sites on humans nearby. How arrogant!!!
My computer licked it's balls.
My computer regularly opens porn sites.
My computer spreads viruses.
by High Technologist December 15, 2004
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computer science

A college major which is thought to be a great field to enter for a lifelong job. This is true, but there are certain misconceptions to this fact. The only way to get an extraordinary job is to create an app and sell that app to a company on the west coast of the U.S. because they are the only ones interested in doing that and hopefully you get to work for one of those fantastic companies with marvelous benefits. On the other hand, if you fail to be an app developer in selling an app to them, you will end up working a job like in the movie Office Space.
Joey: So what are you going to do with your recently earned computer science degree?
Chandler: Well, I have no app ideas, so I'm just going to go work for Initech.
Joey: That's too bad you are not an incredible app developer with thousands of ideas.
Chandler: Yea, I should have just minored in computer science.
by BigBangTheoryFan2013 July 20, 2013
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Let John Go Back On Computer

A Northern phrase used when awaiting something of extreme importance.
"Can I go on the computer?"
"Wait!"
"Let John go back on computer!"
by johnsmellslikeeffinfish January 31, 2009
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Computer

A plastic hunk of shit that pisses off everyone it comes in contact with to no avail. It is the biggest waste of money a person could ever fall victim to, and every nerd who would defend this invention should be shot directly through their temple so as not to miss and leave them paralysed (because even paralysed people can cause problemsStephen Hawkins).
This piece of shit (computer) just crashed, and I lost my entire essay. I fucking hate this pile of fucking shit.
by Ibetyoujustcalledmearacist February 16, 2006
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computer

A machine designed mainly to play Solitaire and fix endless problems consuming time and money.
<Idioth> I got a computer yesterday!
<Idoith> Luckyyy!! How is it?
<Idioth> Great! Plenty of Solitaire and a crapload of errors!
by Bastardized Bottomburp September 1, 2003
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Computer

Your best Friend, the protector of Alpha Complex. Disagreeing is treason.
See also, dictator
Citizen, is the computer your friend?
by Phil-U-INN August 11, 2005
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