SPANKING THE TURTLE

The act of trying to slap a turtle head back up your luscious cheeks to avoid sheer embarrassment and the otter humiliation that comes with shitting your pants. This commonly done when restrooms are not available.

“Bro, I was SPANKING THE TURTLE 🐢 in hopes I would make it to a bathroom in time.”

by Steven dickerson June 17, 2018

Wiping the Turtle's mouth

When you are trying to poo (shit) but the faeces gets lodged in the opening to the anal cavity, often known as a turtle's head poking out. When you can push no more, but the turtle remains trapped, wiping during this scenario is known as Wiping the Turtle's mouth.

Craig came back from the dunger and informed Jon "That was a tough one Jon, I just ended up wiping the turtle's mouth" Jon understood instantly.

by Broaders September 6, 2019

Yertle the Turtle

The sexiest character in all of Dr Suess’ books. Anyone who plays the part of the sexy turtle himself is bound to have sex almost everyday. If you have the honor of sleeping with Yertle you instantly become the sexiest person in a 17.23 mile radius.

Wow the girl is the sexiest person in a 17.23 mile radius she must of fucked yertle the turtle

by Hurburt December 1, 2019

My grandmas a turtle

What zero says when he can't come up with anything

Zero:yo, my grandmas a turtle

Josh, shut up

by .Zero. April 30, 2023

Turtle

The best animals! see reptile

turtles are my favorite animals!

by STEZ September 27, 2003

Turtlebomb

To deficate upon a person from a distance of one story up or higher.

Tim, "Is that an ass hanging out that 3rd story window?"

Bill, "LOOK OUT! It's a Turtlebomb!"

by Washudoin January 21, 2009

Turtle Egg

When you're on the beach and have to take a piss but don't want to go into the water. Instead you lay down, dig a hole near the groin area, and pee in it, much like a turtle does when it lays its eggs.

I was so hungover on the beach I didn't even wanna move, so I just laid a turtle egg instead.

by smashuri November 2, 2010