Swinson’s Law

One step on from Malcolm’s Law, Swinson’s Law states that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong, in the worst possible way, at the worst possible time and will all sorts of unforeseen and unpleasant fallout effects. Named after Jo Swinson who appeared from political obscurity in UK as Leader of the Liberal Democrats and announced that if she got into power she would reverse the decision to leave the European Union in contravention of the will of the British people, not very liberal or democratic. A rather silly woman who would be out of her depth in a car park puddle.

“Malcolm says he just loves Jo Swinson and hopes she gets into power.”
“No surprise there, Swinson’s law compared to Malcolm's law makes him look good.”

by AKACroatalin November 3, 2019

Urinal-In-Law

After entering a public restroom with your in-law (father-in-law, brother-in-law, etc.), you locate with uncomfortable decidedness a urinal furthest from one another.

During my wife's family reunion at the local italian restaurant, an unspoken urinal-in-law policy was established in the restroom.

by JD Gold January 16, 2008

Unwritten Law

Something that isn't illegal to do, but you shouldn't due it even if it's legal. Breaking an unwritten law often causes confusion, chaos, and/or misunderstanding.

If you park next to a vehicle of the same color and make of yours, you're breaking an unwritten law.

by Carrera's Wedge July 27, 2007

murphy's law

Commonly, a situation where, if anything can go wrong, it will, but I wanted to add my examples.

You always get your blackjack one or two hands after you lower your bet.

If you take the phone with you outside, say to garden, it will never ring, but if you leave it inside there will be several messages on your voicemail.

by andy1 August 10, 2005

LAWS 489

A research paper that generally pretentious people who think they are smart write in their fourth year of law.

Most of the time spent doing 489s will actually be spent complaining about how much work one has to do without actually doing it, acting intellectually superior, watching cat videos on youtube and spending course-related costs at the railway station on chocolate and thai prostitutes.

"Hey do you wanna go to the Big K tonight?"

"Na man I've gotta do my LAWS 489, got soooooooo much to do, gotta be so smart for this shit."

*Hangs out in the law library eating chocolate and watching cat videos*

by R and Bourne June 29, 2011

Law of dicks

Law used when trying to estimate how many "dicks" the average girl (not a cum dumpster) has been with. To properly use the law, start with age 17 and add 1.5 dicks for every 3 years until you reach girls current age. When rounding is needed, always round up.

(Age - 17) / 3 * 1.5 = # of Dicks (always round up)

Matt: I just started dating this new girl
Joe: How old is she - how is the law of dicks looking?
Matt: She is 28 so I bet she is at 6 dicks
Joe: Not too bad, hope she knows what she is doing.

by nunzio19 October 5, 2009

Hunter's Law

A smoker's law (easily applied to drinking), first created in Hunter's Coffeeshop, Amsterdam. should a smoker find himself in the company of more than one joint at any one time, he most smoke all the joints in his possession at least once before passing them onto the next smoker in their respective directions.

"stoph, dude, you already have a frickin' joint"
"yeah, but, hunter's law dude"
"that's jus' greedy, yo"
"shut it! or i'll have sex on your bread!"
"fine."

by reverendryu July 8, 2009