corporate apology

An apology so bland that it makes you want to throw up. Almost always given by multi million dollar

conglomerates, hence the name.

Conglomerate: We would like to apologise for our actions. (insert corporate apology here)

by buddy retard September 15, 2020

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Corporate Slavery

Modern day slavery in the workforce is corporate slavery is the mistreatment of employees by paying low wages and no health care. Typically you have a toxic manager that focuses on what you do wrong, which is minimal, but focusing on what you do well and does realize that you have a life outside of work. Often there is a point system for attendance, for instance getting one point for calling sick. You can only earn a certain of points if you call off for work, but you could be a single mother with sick children. Corporate Slavery has risen dramatically due to the decline of unions and "The Right to Work"

Me: Kathy just called in sick for today because when she woke up, her fiancee next to her in bed had died in bed.

Krystal: Can you believe Sheri's response to Kathy was that since it was unplanned absence she would earn a point. Then the boss told her she wouldn't paid for her bereavement time, because he was just a fiancee - not yet a husband.

Me: So wait - are telling me that Kathy won't received the paid bereavement because he was "just" a fiancee. I can't believe Sheri would even mention points. Like Kathy gives a shit right now.

Krystal: This is corporate slavery. Remember when the computers were non-functional and we had to show up to this damn cube farm all three days and just at a non-working computer.

Me: That was horribly boring! Right right this is just a form of modern day slavery. I hate it here, when do I get to time off during the day to be able to interview. It is almost impossible to get your time off approved.

by Siouxsie Supertramp October 12, 2020

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Corporate Damage

Someone who's been working in corporate for along time brings over engineered ways of thinking to startups.

Jim: "Let's hit the market tomorrow and validate it!"; Jeff "But what about the QA Testing, Validation surveys, Focus groups, Consultancy Input, 50+ analysis document?", Jim: "You are so corporate damaged."

by MyBeach April 6, 2021

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Corporate Cowboy

In this context, the term “cowboy” has been given a negative connotation. In this sense, "cowboy" refers to those people who shoot around with empty word shells (hollow words or also buzzwords), especially in meetings with word salvos, in order to generate an impression among team members and supervisors to look as competent and intelligent as possible by using a lot of “intelligent or technical” words. This is also referred to as “bullshit-bingo” and causes a lot of hot air and dust but with a “peng-peng-wow-effect”, meaning, firstly, people are highly impressed and intimidated. But over time, team members and supervisors understand that it is just hot air and are in fact annoyed by the cowboy’s apperiance and “wana-be, joke cracking” leadership behaviour.
Their behavior is driven purely by opportunistic and egoistic nature and solely serves to present themselves strategically best in the company or in the team. Supervisors are slimed by the application of cowboyism, whereby people on the same level are run over by renewed word salvos and “peng-peng” gestures, knocked off and/or made mouth-dead.
The basic prerequisite for corporate cowboys is the lack of leadership qualities and incompetence of superiors or the deliberate promotion by other cowboys, who in turn satisfy each other's egoistic spirit in their own cowboy group to the point of neurological orgasm with their fictitious intelligence and pomposity. One calls it also "man round".

This dude is such a bullshit-bingo guy . He is a corporate cowboy......
or
Did you listen to Steve? He was just ..peng peng peng peng peng peng...all the time.

by Azem14 November 22, 2021

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