Raptor Jesus appeared before me, and he said: "Take heed my son, for there shall be many who doubt me, but whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting life." I wept with joy at the gift bestowed, "Yet, my lord, what fate shall be given to the unworthy?" He answered: "Their entrails shall be rent from their stomachs, their limbs ripped from their torso, to feast our hungry bodies, and restore our souls. Whensoever you feast upon the heart of thine enemy, think of me." For that is the beauty of Raptor Jesus.
One day, Raptor Jesus walked a busy street with his disciple, Anonymous. Anonymous and his like-named brethren populated the land on which they strolled, as common as blades of grass. They walked, discussing many things, but, Anonymous paused for a moment. “Lord?” he spoke, “Is not this idle talk frowned upon by your father?” And quoth Raptor Jesus; “All voice communicates knowledge. Knowledge is hardly frowned upon by anyone, and thus your ‘idle talk’ does not exist, unless you speak of memes. Memes are idle, as they are merely communication of things all know of” And thus our Lord beckoned to a painting of an insanely smiling man. “However, memes can bring laughter and happiness, thus, one can surmise that He enjoys them, and hardly frowns upon them” And Anonymous looked ahead, silent.
by Anon Divad January 2, 2008
Get the Raptor Jesusmug. way the fuck out there
by d5 and d3 April 11, 2000
Get the East Jesusmug. by Marzocchi66 December 3, 2007
Get the by da jesusmug. We love you junkyard jesus, make love to me junkyard jesus, please.
You may think he is an every day Joe becuase he works at walmart but the truth is he is Junkyard Jesus.
You may think he is an every day Joe becuase he works at walmart but the truth is he is Junkyard Jesus.
by lendf8930 May 8, 2011
Get the Junkyard Jesusmug. Jesus Zipper, the line of skin that goes from the base of your man stick (penis) straight down and around your pill pouch (scrotum) all the way to your brown star (anus).
The term Jesus Zipper was coined by AJ Styles after a mishap in the ring that left him straddling the ropes in an unceremonious fashion. During an interview he said "I landed right on my Jesus Zipper."
by Rattleshark December 7, 2016
Get the jesus zippermug. Notorious B.I.G aka Biggie Smalls aka Brroklyn's Jesus was one of the greatest M.C of all time.He is known as the Brooklyn's Jesus because he was Brooklyn's savior. Meaning he brought back the east coast, New York's hip hop.
by PrinceKush March 1, 2017
Get the Brooklyn Jesusmug. When you decide to spend your morning, afternoon, or weekend watching The Chosen. When you look forward to the next episode of The Chosen and what will be revealed to you; Watching The Chosen over and over again because it is such a blessing; knowing you will see something new that you did not see the previous time. Becoming so familiar with The Chosen that reciting their lines becomes a game you play with your friends and family. Sharing The Chosen with every person you know and asking them to share it with every person they know and so on and so on...
I am so excited to binge Jesus today with the watch party we set up. The Chosen is such a great show that I now binge Jesus at least once a week.
by Jesus Super Freak July 25, 2021
Get the binge Jesusmug.