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classic flex

Act of flexing (/flex) or low key boasting over the fact you played classic wow, also known as vannila wow, an original world of warcraft.

Trying to assume superiority over your peers in a current non-classic expansion, because you assume nobody else ever could have possibly played classic like you did.
Preferably over raid and group chats and voicechats with as many people as possible involved.

It also has a memeberberry effect, when people pile on, to prove they "know the lingo" and "were there too" which eventually turns into an endless circlejerk which then occupies discussion, till broken up.

It is not to be confused with general private reminiscing over outdated WoW content.
Classic Flexer 1:"Classic was better and I played it so I am better too, let me tell you why you all live normies suck, but not me, cause I am only here till classic..."
Classic Flexer 2:"Oh remember when we had to drink water? Aw yeah, classic was SO DAMN GOOD!"
Classic Flexer 3:"Ugh, this expansion sux, remember when, in the good old vanilla wow ..."
Classic Flexer 4:"HAHA! Right guys, NAXX was the sh!t, this dumb raid has nothing on it!"
Raid Leader: "Jimmy , would you kindly shut the fuck up and do /pull 10 and follow these "oversimplified" boss mechanics properly?"
by Kekmaker May 29, 2019
mugGet the classic flexmug.

Flex

Flee(FL) + Alex(EX) = Flex
We FLEX on our haters.
by Anon208 November 6, 2017
mugGet the Flexmug.

Flex tape

The product of one god, Phil swift himself
He has rained down on us the perfect bondage for leaks
The ultimate repair for literal anything

He saws a boat in half and fixes it with only one of his great marks left flex tape
To show you the power of flex tape I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF and repaired it with only flex tape!”-the god himself
by MoLeStMaN December 5, 2018
mugGet the Flex tapemug.

Flex Boi

A gay kid that you should stay away from or he will try to rape you.
Stay away from Flex Boi.
by Flex Boi October 16, 2019
mugGet the Flex Boimug.

Flex

A way of making your friends jealous of your new AirPods
Random person 1: Oh hey guys.. I got some new AirPods, I can listen to music with GOOD QUALITY now!
Random person 2: Ugh why the fuck are you flexing
by itsarga January 21, 2020
mugGet the Flexmug.

Flex tape

A special tape used to cover a males dick tip while he is cuming
STACEY! GRAB THE FLEX TAPE IM CUMING
by Potatoepatches August 26, 2019
mugGet the Flex tapemug.

Flex Officer

Flex Officer (noun):
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captain’s desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that “they’re special.” Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.

They don’t work at the jail — they grace it with their presence.
They don’t get mandated — they get massaged.
Their radio isn’t even connected — it’s just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where they’ve got a playlist titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.”

Key Attributes:
• Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, “You’re my little soldier.”
• Cries “unfair!” with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to… do their actual job.
• Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.

Hierarchy of Enablers:
• Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officer’s belly.
• Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them “my baby” when no one’s looking.
• Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!

Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for “Most Improved” after showing up to roll call on time… once… in 2019.
You: “Why the hell am I getting mandated again?”
• Sergeant: “Flex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.”
• You: aggressively Googling ‘how to fake your own death with minimal paperwork’
by BigDaddyBear53 July 4, 2025
mugGet the Flex Officermug.

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