turtle fuck

When a soldier hits another soldier's kevlar helment with his own kevlar. Since the cover is usually green camo it looks like to turtles rubbing together, hence the name. I t isn't used much anymore because most soldiers are running around in desert uniforms now because of OEF and OIF

{Sneaks up from behind Joe Snuffy} Ow, what the fuck you hit me in the head for?

by anonymous August 2, 2004

turtledick

When in a state of anxiety or after having been struck in the genitals, the penis tends to retract into the body. The name is derived from the turtle's defense mechanism.

Also applies to the bodily response after having gone swimming

I just went for a swim, and I got a mean case of turtledick (or turtlecock, tortoise-shlong)

by ppadru1 February 13, 2009

Awkward Turtle

In real American Sign Language. It means Platypus.

Friend making Awkward Turtle sign.
Friend who knows better: "Platypus?"

by Likitung. December 22, 2008

3-eyed turtle

A penis in every main orifice (mouth, pussy, anus)

We gave her the 3 eyed turtle.

by bread sex December 7, 2003

Turtle Fucker

A name that is given to any older man, or woman that is hindering your speed, whether you are driving, walking, running (etc.).It is not uncommon for them to possess horrible driving skills, and driving through banks, salons, grocery stores, and gas stations happens more often than not.

Driver: I am going to be late, get out of my way Turtle Fucker!

Grocery Shopper: Move you damn Turtle Fucker and quit staring at the laxatives, it's not that damn hard to decide!

Grocery Shopper #2: It shouldn't take that long to write a check, get some glasses Turtle Fucker!

Grocery Shopper #3: Damn-it Turtle Fucker, no it isn't cheaper than that, quit getting price checks!

Betty drove into the gas station and injured the clerk because she is a Turtle Fucker.

by loafenator February 27, 2009

Mexican Turtle Neck

When one partner is giving another partner oral pleasure. The receiving partner intentionally or unintentionally farts and when they fart they blow watery shit all over the neck and chest of there partner. Most often found in exotic locations were visitors stomachs are not acclimated to the local fare.

John and Susie were in mexico for vacation. Johns stomach wasn't feeling well from the water and or spicy food but Susie was feeling frisky from the margaritas and she went down on John dispite his condition as susie was down town giving John the business. John thought he could relieve some preasure out the back door. To John and Susies suprise when Jhon relieved the preasure out the back door he spayed liquid shit all over her neck and chest. Thus giving Susie a Mexican Turtle Neck

by Bangkok Benny May 21, 2009

turtle head poking out

Turtle head poking out can mean two things:

1) To have an extreme urge to defecate, so much so that the feces is already spreading the anus and a portion of it is beginning to stick out. So called because it resembles a turtle poking its head out of its shell.

2) The portion of a long log of shit that protrudes above the water in a toilet. Since it is above the water, it can be smelled. So called because it resembles a turtle poking its head out of the water.

1) May I use your bathroom? It's urgent, I have a turtle head poking out.

2) You may not want to go into the washroom for a while: I just had a crap and there was a turtle head poking out; the smell is awful.

by Coxweld July 4, 2009