Twat squat

The female version of the teabag

I got him with the twat squat he never saw it coming.

She hit them with a quick zipper and a twat squat for the after action cam.

by Assclap90k November 17, 2023

The Kvatum Squat

When you watch porn with your hands tied behind your back so you can diddle your own butthole.

Lyndsay was caught by the hotel maid doing The Kvatum Squat.

by Canadian Tuna December 19, 2018

squat cobbler

When one squats to rub his bottom in an actually pie

that squat cobbler cream pied his own ass, literally.

by Zowi320 September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in a pie (whilst clothed or unclothed) in a manner to arouse or stimulate pleasure.
(first seen in Better Call Saul)

James: Man, Dan is a pretty good Squat Cobbler, but sometimes he cries when he does it.

by AttackOnPoke July 27, 2016

hoboken squat cobbler

A fetish involving watching someone sitting their posterior into a pie (preferably apple or pumpkin, but this is up to the fetishist) and wiggling said buttocks around in the aforementioned dessert

Jimmy: Yo, did you catch that Hoboken Squat Cobbler video on the Tube?

Chuck: Yeah man, got me rock hard

by cellophanefriend September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

process of planting ones ass on a pie for sexual release

Andrew is a squat cobbler, it gets him off.

by The Glinch September 3, 2016

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

When a fully clothed person sits in a pie (or other cake like pastry) and commences to weep like a little girl. Squat Cobblering is usually engaged in by ugly, bald, middle aged men, who usually have some form of what appears to be mild autism. Said mild autism may manifest itself in an childlike, irrational and downright creepy obsession with baseball cards.

Did you see the back of his pants? He either crapped'em, or Hoboken Squat Cobbler'd a chocolate cake.

by Bob Barr 123 August 28, 2016