East Jesus

way the fuck out there

damn, the parking lot was full and I had to park in East Jesus

by d5 and d3 April 11, 2000

Jesus Jitters

A sports reporter's awkward, stammering reaction after a seemingly innocuous question is greeted with a completely unsolicited Bible-Thumping answer: see Erin Andrews' interview with Josh Hamilton at the 2009 MLB All-Star Game or any interview ever with Kurt Warner.

Susie Kolber: Kurt, I see that you are wearing new cleats tonight, any comment?

Kurt Warner: Without the grace of our risen Lord Jesus Christ there would be no cleatts, praise His name.

Susie Kolber: yes...umm...of course...uhhh...back to you Berman!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Jesus Jitters!

by rak5877 July 13, 2009

Jesus Breath

having bad breath after consumption of the body of Christ, Communion, church bread, etc.

I really need a stick of gum, I have some rancid Jesus Breath.

by THEOREOKING December 25, 2009

Junkyard Jesus

The most epic character from your town. Usually has long hair making them resemble Jesus.

We love you junkyard jesus, make love to me junkyard jesus, please.

You may think he is an every day Joe becuase he works at walmart but the truth is he is Junkyard Jesus.

by lendf8930 May 8, 2011

by da jesus

A Newfoundland saying, often said when one is becoming stressed out or annoyed.

"By da jesus! Dat car almost rear ended me!"

by Marzocchi66 December 3, 2007

Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

jesus zipper

Jesus Zipper, the line of skin that goes from the base of your man stick (penis) straight down and around your pill pouch (scrotum) all the way to your brown star (anus).

The term Jesus Zipper was coined by AJ Styles after a mishap in the ring that left him straddling the ropes in an unceremonious fashion. During an interview he said "I landed right on my Jesus Zipper."

by Rattleshark December 7, 2016