Jesus nut

Anything that holds together a critical assembly, such as a main roter on a helicopter. If the nut, bolt ect. in question fails then the equipment will catastrophically fail and everyone in/around it will be on their way to see Jesus.

"Tighten that damn Jesus nut down good cause I ain't in the mood to see him today".

by Jumpingrat September 4, 2008

Jesus Poker

People on Facebook that post Bible verses as their status updates in a way to show that they are Christians in an annoying way, or to state that they are better people by knowing Bible verses.

Alana posted another Psalm as her status. She is such a Jesus Poker.

Catholic Douce Bag

by Anti Saint September 22, 2009

lawd jesus

Black People's pronunciation of "Lord Jesus"

When You see a girl with a nice Butt, "Lawd Jesus, That Ass"
When you see fire, "Lawd, Jesus, There's a Fire"

by inside_you April 6, 2015

tambourine jesus

always keep a tambourine handy boyo, you never know when you need one

I was talking to tambourine jesus yesterday hes really cool and has a tambourine.

by GFMS_bnad June 29, 2020

Jesus Bitch

1. A girl who is in love with Jesus to an extreme to where she is really fucking annoying. 2. A girl who constantly attends church, but is a total slut. 3. A girl that knows more about dick and Jersey Shore than she does about her own religion. 4. A girl who's idea of God is about as empty and shallow as her vagina.

I'm going to punch that Jesus Bitch in the face if she doesn't shut up!" "Go hump a bible like your man-whore, Jesus Bitch!" "I bet the Jesus Bitch would suck cock for the offering."

by churchpeopleareannoying April 25, 2011

jesus year

The 33rd year of your life where you are reborn in some sense. Perhaps a mid-life crisis, perhaps an ego death, perhaps the year where you abandon old ways and start new .... or perhaps you were affixed to a cross and came out the other side a spiritual figure that historians, theologians, worshipers and dissenters make the subject of many a conversation.

"When I turned 33 I quit my job, went broke, then changed my diet, started rebuilding my credit and followed my passion. Yep, that was definitely my Jesus year."

by trickynek August 6, 2014

Segway Jesus

Person with Jesus like qualities (long hair, sandals, beard) who floats around from place to place on a segway, no matter how close or far away the destination may be. Typically embraces their own resemblance to Jesus.

Hey, check it out. It's a segway Jesus on his way to the mail center.

by Segway Jesus Observer March 20, 2009