Twilight

The story of an emotionally disturbed girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality, with pedophilic undertones.

Edward: Ancient Vampire.
Jacob: Werewolf.
Bella: Human girl.

Bonus: Jacob falls in love with Bella's baby... While it's still a baby.

Twilight is the product of a seriously repressed mind.

by kyrieleison September 25, 2010

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Twilight

Twilight is an ultra-popular saga consisting of 4 books by Stephanie Meyer. Mainly appreciated by girls from age 8-16, the series has made billions of dollars in films and other merchandise. However, no matter how "great" the fans make it seem, the writing is actually quite poor and the plot is boring and unoriginal. The actual definition of "saga" (a word commonly used to describe the series) is "a long story of heroic achievement", which is definitely NOT what Twilight is. The protagonist is a plain girl named Bella with no personality or talent (besides being incredibly boring and uninteresting). She ends up falling in love with a vampire, Edward (who is also quite boring and one-dimensional). Many of the fans of Twilight adore this character, saying he's 'hot'.
These books set bad examples for society. For instance, Bella is willing to DIE than not be with Edward. This is emphasizing the idea that having a boyfriend is the most important thing in life, and that women should be protected like material.
The series is often compared to another ultra-popular series, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. In contrast to Twilight, these books are great. Go read them.

An edited exerpt from Twilight
Edward: OHMYGOD, Bella, go jump off a cliff, I hate you.
Bella: Okay, my darling Eddy! I love you sooooooo much I would die for you!
-bella jumps off cliff-
Edward: OMG, Bella, how can you be so stupid!?!?!
Bella: -sobbing- I'M SORRY EDWARD! I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH NEVER LEAVE ME!!!!
Edward: I love you too. Now go away I hate you.

by huergbjk December 24, 2010

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Twilight

A poorly written series about a sparkly mosquito who falls head-over heels in love with a thoughtless uninteresting girl. Incidentally, written by a stay-at-home mom who *probably watches soap operas all day* had a dream about a sparkling vampire and thought she'd write it down with help from her dictionary as she inserts as many "intelligent" words in one sentence as humanly possible, with no regard for actual structure or wordiness.

She needed a few bucks, so she sent it in to a publisher, after she decided to build on the story (minimally- she has no creativity) and do a rip off idea of Vampire Diaries, with the exception that her vampires sparkle- in which, nobody really cares that this makes no sense; being that vampires should have some sort of weakness. Identifying them because they sparkle does not give the rest of the world much of a chance, does it? In which case, the case should be that most of the world are vampires, because who would stand a chance against a super fast, blood-sucking creature that can come out at all times of the day?

There's no plot point, substance or character development. Basically, It's like the perfect Teenage scenario, in which your parents are so clueless you can do anything you want!

Definition: "Twilight" is the bleakness of the mind. The utter lack of judgment of the people buying this tripe.

Twilight readers would think the following good literature: Today I woke up, instead of not waking up, which sometimes happens I guess. I gazed into the mirror, gazing at all of my flaws that I saw in the mirror. I was getting older, I was quite sure that those wrinkles had not been there the night before when i had been with Edward-- I knew that there was no way Edward would even care about me if I was old and ugly- he preferred perfect looking girls. Perhaps it was my longing for him, that had caused my forehead to crease so, or perhaps because pale skin wrinkles more... Of course, Edward wouldn't care that I was ugly, just so long as I smelled good. Besides, perhaps the day would come when another weird and strange boy would invite me all alone to go walk into the woods, so that we could lay in the flowers, and that's it. I decided not to go to school, because education is not important. I knew in my heart, my soul, that I was Edward's slave forever. The thought of worshiping and giving my whole life for him was extremely appealing. Dad, mom, her boyfriend, my non-entity friends and Jacob didn't matter. I was forever, and irrevocably his, for all eternity.

by geminimoon December 25, 2010

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Twilight

The act of shooting a load on a girls face the throwing a handful of glitter on her face.

Dude I was with my G/F last night and I Twilighted her. She sparkled like tinkerbell!

by Snipedog22 February 2, 2013

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twilight sex

is when a girl watches the popular twilight movies and then full of hormones and giddy from her vampire/wolf fantasies pounces on someone and procedes to initiate intercourse.

my girl was so horny after twilight she mounted me and i totally got some twilight sex.

by thebluevendetta November 24, 2009

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