Bad News Brad

A lumbering, sub-human brute with a bulbous frame and an unnaturally wide base. His thick, fat, calloused hooves are often crammed into women’s footwear. His face, a big, dumb, perfectly round slab of confusion, sits atop his hairy mass, though his scalp remains curiously barren. He speaks in a slow, monotone drawl, as if each word is a struggle against his own stupidity.

Chronically late to work and a walking medical mystery (at least in his own mind), he suffers from an extreme case of hypochondria. His days are punctuated by dramatic medical ailments, followed by frantic calls for an ambulance to ferry him from his own home, only for doctors to confirm, yet again, that absolutely nothing is wrong.

A connoisseur of filth, this swamp-dwelling specimen produces greasy, bile-ridden shits at an alarming rate. He is a walking biohazard, harboring every known strain of hepatitis along with a few that science has yet to discover.

Despite his Neanderthal-like attributes, Brad possesses a shockingly average IQ. However, his dental history suggests a level of neglect that has single-handedly funded his dentist’s children’s college tuition. Though Big Bad Brad’s underwear is often covered in matted hair and shit, he remains a friend to all and, in his free time, a self-proclaimed world-class chiropractor, despite having no formal training or hygiene standards.
After clogging the toilet for the third time that week, Bad News Brad waddled out, wiped his sweaty brow, and blamed it on his undiagnosed heart condition.
by Dwaggerbomb March 13, 2025
mugGet the Bad News Bradmug.

Brad Fact

When brady morgan lies randomly or adds false details to stories. Basically saying stuff that never happened (most of the time it’s obvious)
Brady won’t stop lying and brad facting.
by jbone223 June 30, 2025
mugGet the Brad Factmug.

brad

gee isn't brad a smart guy
by janonretard January 22, 2021
mugGet the bradmug.

Brad

The biggest fucking retard on this planet. Brad has committed several war crimes. He is more dangerous than Pablo Escobar
Brad: hey guys🤓
Everyone who talks to Brad: shut up bitch
by Kai Macneill May 14, 2022
mugGet the Bradmug.

Brad Gillis

The Night Ranger guitarist who had the undesired position of filling Randy Rhoads shoes in Ozzy Osbournes band after Randy Rhoads was tragically killed.

His tademark style was outlined by use of harmonics in conjunction with the whammy bar.
Brad Gillis was Ozzy's guitar player on the 'Speak of the Devil tour'.
by piptardsman October 29, 2009
mugGet the Brad Gillismug.

Brad

Someone who brags about how much they make off of unemployment.
I met someone the other day and he was a Brad for sure.
by KrashK October 22, 2020
mugGet the Bradmug.

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